12.27.2011

What's the filthiest thing you've ever done? Or if you've told us, are there any stories you're withholding from your readers?

We're all about honesty and putting it all out there, right? In that spirit, we tell you most everything we can think of to try and shock you perverts.


This is a tough one for me, because I think that the definition of 'filthy' really varies from person to person. I know people who (if you can imagine me knowing these kinds of people for one second) think blowjobs are at the top of the charts in terms of perversion. Rye and I are relatively middle-of-the-road in the sex world, but in our everyday group of friends, we are probably the most adventurous in the bedroom. This is an interesting line to straddle.


Separately, we've had our share of exploits. Rye boned a girlfriend everywhere from her parents' garage to their garden. I once fucked a boyfriend in the lobby of his apartment building. Drunk and emboldened, I leaned over to take a drink from the water fountain and hiked my skirt up expectantly. He reacted accordingly.


I did once get a happy ending from a professional masseuse. You could accuse me of withholding this story. In truth, I'm just not quite sure how to explain it. How does something like that happen? It happened to me, it was lovely, and I still have no idea how some shit like that goes down. At first blush, it strikes me as a little unprofessional? I know that's ridiculous, especially coming from the one who got an orgasm out of it. I promise I'll figure out how to explain it soon.

But together is where things really have gotten interesting. An amazing thing happens when you know that any request you have will be met by your partner with enthusiasm and excitement. You get a little bold.

I do not think it is a coincidence that his hand fits perfectly here.

If you're me, that means you entice Rye into a relatively public hot tub early in your relationship and have him finger you to orgasm. If you're me, it also means that you make him bend you over in your kitchen immediately afterward, in full ear-shot of your unsuspecting roommate. This experience was amazing for a few reasons: firstly, the obvious, holy shit it was amazing. Secondly, Rye considers hot tubs to be right up there with dumpster-diving in terms of cleanliness. He had to have REALLY wanted me to come to get over it.

It could have been the time, fortified by the champagne at a friend's wedding, we screwed like animals, straddling the toilet in the upstairs bathroom, while fellow wedding-goers queued up outside.

Amidst all the lovey-doveyness that we indulge in around here, we also tie each other up. We spank. We treat each other like sluts. And I promise that, to the best of our ability, we will always tell you like it is.

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