tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post2430714812512588176..comments2024-01-24T21:01:33.051-05:00Comments on Uncommon Appetites: Violet, how do you and Rye keep the romance alive? My girlfriend and I never seem to have time for each other or be in the mood for sex. How can we get the spark back between college and everyday life?Violet+Ryehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05830163516421367560noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-65878030911353875562012-02-07T18:56:54.491-05:002012-02-07T18:56:54.491-05:00REAL. TALK.
Absolutely spot on! We could not hav...REAL. TALK. <br /><br />Absolutely spot on! We could not have said that better ourselves. Which is probably why we didn't. We were just waiting for you! ; )<br /><br />But, in all seriousness, that is an excellently articulated point that I could not agree with more. Thank you so much for sharing your brain with us!<br /><br />- Violet.Violet+Ryehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05830163516421367560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-36315529420852530772012-02-07T10:42:30.154-05:002012-02-07T10:42:30.154-05:00I think your advice is spot on, with one (slight) ...I think your advice is spot on, with one (slight) addition that I'd make. Sometimes (often) couples, particularly couples with some challenges around sexual compatibility, problematize the AMOUNT they want sex. That's to say, not everyone actually wants to fuck every day. Not everyone wants to fuck every other day. Just read through OKC profiles to see the wide variety of frequency with which people say they want to have sex.<br /><br />Where I think many of us get into trouble is that, often, there's a disconnect between how often we actually want to have sex, and how often we imagine a person like us SHOULD want to have sex.<br /><br />I'm hypersexual - I see sex everywhere I look, and think about it constantly. But the truth is, I DON'T actually want it every day. I spent a long time feeling bad that we didn't, that I didn't, have sex more. And then I noticed that the problem wasn't how much sex I was having, it was how I felt about how much sex I was having: the truth was, I was having exactly what I wanted (lucky me).<br /><br />So: just a caution, to maintain an awareness of the difference between wanting to have sex every day and wanting to be the kind of person who has sex every day, and who therefore perceives her/his "failure" to do so as a failure, rather than a manifestation of her/his actual desire.<br /><br />And I love, and am grateful for, your blog.N.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15740203652762792344noreply@blogger.com