tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post6002317564687219422..comments2024-01-24T21:01:33.051-05:00Comments on Uncommon Appetites: Just the Three of Us.Violet+Ryehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05830163516421367560noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-83562962302932794352013-05-22T09:41:55.520-04:002013-05-22T09:41:55.520-04:00Wow, Virginia, thanks SO much for sharing your sto...Wow, Virginia, thanks SO much for sharing your story! That was a fucking excellent comment and we love hearing about the experience of others. Especially when your situation is so similar to our own. We're thrilled to have inspired some great conversations between you and your husband, that's perhaps the best outcome we could hope for (aside from having a successful, drama-free threesome?), so thanks for that.<br /><br />As for a new post, we'll see what we can hammer out with one hand otherwise occupied!<br /><br />V+RViolet+Ryehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05830163516421367560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-30835132089948654642013-05-10T13:33:37.878-04:002013-05-10T13:33:37.878-04:00I really thought I'd commented on this post, b...I really thought I'd commented on this post, but apparently I didn't. Which just goes to show that crack really is wack. <br /><br />Ok, so thoughts. There are a few. some are even smart.<br /><br />Thought 1: there are some really awesome comments on this post. smart people, smart advice, interesting stories, and thoughtfulness, which is so awesomely refreshing. I've met so few people who are actually thoughtful about threesomes that reading this stuff is exceedingly happy making. I find that generally people fall into one of two camps: threesomes - FUCK YEAH or threesomes - ew. and don't really take the time to examine any of their reasoning behind these positions (no pun intended. I guess).<br /><br />Thought 2: this post, and the subsequent comments, engendered some truly excellent discussions on threesomes, sexuality and compartmentalization* with my husband (who is also a reader and occasional commenter). And I think he feels very similarly to Rye about this issue. We've been married for nearly 9 years, and yeah, threesomes have been a constant topic of conversation for most of our marriage (if not pre-marriage, but my memory sucks, so who knows). It's really a matter of finding the right person, and that hasn't happened yet. It's also a tall order. Someone that we trust, that we're both attracted to, who is attracted to both of us, etc... man. HOW did I make this happen so frequently when I was younger?<br /><br />*compartmentalization in this context = the ability to experience sex and a purely physical experience without any emotional bullshit, guilt, or anything else creeping into it, before, during or after the experience. Tough to find in a threesome partner. And trust me, I've seen it all with multiple partnering. I've got no desire to get into a sexual encounter with someone who is going to vomit their emotional bullshit all over me after the fact. Or during. Ugh.<br /><br />Thought 3: My sexual experience is a lot more varied than my husband's, and I think this is also an issue (ok, not really an issue, but something similar to an issue, but less ominous) as I spent a period in my 20s being all about sex, drugs and, well, sex, and my husband spent his 20s raising his youngest sister. I seem to remember the variances in sexual experience being a factor in y'alls relationship as well. He's expressed on numerous occasions that he wished he'd been around when I was in my wildly free period of sexual expression.<br /><br />ok, thoughts are clearly getting less organized. <br /><br />thanks again for the thoughtful and awesome post (and, comments). <br /><br />can we have another post please? I know it's national masturbation month and all, but at least one of you is able to do that one-handed.Virginia Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18211432405256644102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-35043565921039441822013-04-23T20:27:20.255-04:002013-04-23T20:27:20.255-04:00The fact that we can be considered a blog that dis...The fact that we can be considered a blog that discusses the things people are thinking and not saying is beyond amazing to us, so thanks for saying so.<br /><br />We happend to think our foundation is pretty fucking strong as well, which is a big reason for even pursuing the idea in the first place. We don't get as many real offers as you'd think, but those that we do get tend to come from women, which is really refreshing and wonderful.<br /><br />As for the swingers/sex party, it's not really a thing we've put much thought into, mostly due to the expectation of what that would be like and not being super into that concept. Which is pretty unfair, to be honest. So maybe we'll rethink that idea.<br /><br />V+RViolet+Ryehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05830163516421367560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-10128496491922532382013-04-23T20:23:47.109-04:002013-04-23T20:23:47.109-04:00This is seriously wonderful advice and we can'...This is seriously wonderful advice and we can't thank you enough for coming over here and giving it. Amazing.<br /><br />V+RViolet+Ryehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05830163516421367560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-80949192976570615102013-04-23T20:17:23.041-04:002013-04-23T20:17:23.041-04:00Not a ramble too far at all. Thanks you SO much fo...Not a ramble too far at all. Thanks you SO much for chiming in with your thoughts, we seriously appreciate it and love reading about other people's experiences, especially in regard to group sex.<br /><br />V+RViolet+Ryehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05830163516421367560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-86988308067520236632013-04-23T20:15:55.566-04:002013-04-23T20:15:55.566-04:00Thanks so much for chiming in with your personal s...Thanks so much for chiming in with your personal story! It's fucking wonderful that you're interested and have discussed with your partner! Like we said in the above response, just having discussed it and being open and honest is hot in and of itself.<br /><br />As for the fans, consider it considered (and we've been to Maryland, the crabs alone are worth repeat visits)!<br /><br />V+RViolet+Ryehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05830163516421367560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-85420651596151203472013-04-23T20:13:16.953-04:002013-04-23T20:13:16.953-04:00That's super interesting! 11 years and never f...That's super interesting! 11 years and never found a joiner? Part of what we find exciting is just our willingness to be open about the possibility. That alone separates you from a lot of other couples and makes it all so much more exciting and adventurous.<br /><br />And yes, we certainly do enjoy sex of the kick ass variety!<br /><br />V+RViolet+Ryehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05830163516421367560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-31995794653660424672013-04-18T11:18:12.790-04:002013-04-18T11:18:12.790-04:00I don't think there's much I can add to th...I don't think there's much I can add to the comments above, or following recent conversations on twitter, except to say thank you for once again getting a subject so many of us are thinking about out there and enabling us to open up about it. And to echo what Visible Glass said, I think you guys have a great foundation for this kind of exploration, and you're hot as can be anyway! Expect you've already had/ will get plenty of offers from your readers......damn the Atlantic Ocean, or I'd join the queue!!! Also wondered if you'd considered a sex/swingers party, this is something we thought may be a good way to 'test the waters' so to speak. Thanks for your post as always, J xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-5647879572532251472013-04-18T04:11:16.860-04:002013-04-18T04:11:16.860-04:00Yes, yes, wonderfully . . . and succinctly put. Co...Yes, yes, wonderfully . . . and succinctly put. Couldn't agree more.Modesty Ablazehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06811412210558154939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-85458656391826769862013-04-18T04:10:03.547-04:002013-04-18T04:10:03.547-04:00LOL !!! A very, very long story . . . and actually...LOL !!! A very, very long story . . . and actually explained (briefly) on my "The more I have" page on my own blog. BUT, But, but . . . I don't want to hi-jack Violet & Rye's page here to detail that. As I mentioned, I do realise that everyone is different and that different things work for different people, but I believe that communicating and talking honestly as a couple is the basis for strong (and loving) relationship. Whether, or not, that leads to more "open" sexual experiences with others, or just between the two partners, the talking and sharing of passions and desires is the most important thing.Modesty Ablazehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06811412210558154939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-32633334054421502382013-04-17T16:25:11.538-04:002013-04-17T16:25:11.538-04:00Hmmm 3sums, a subject we have had plenty of fun di...Hmmm 3sums, a subject we have had plenty of fun discussing as well as partaking in with success and epic failures. We are married and are approaching being married for 9 years with 6 on deck before we got married and are both only 33. We got into the 3sum thing when we were dating but didn't successfully have them until we were married. With that being said let me offer you our advise. <br /> <br />Don't fret about it, it's a waste of time and energy to worry about something that hasn't happened. Be open with each other about what you don't want to happen and since V has experience hear what she says she hated about it and try not to replicate. Unless you have some very sexually open and down to earth friends that view sex in a way that is similar to you, don't hook up with friends. An acquaintance would probably be the best bet, someone just a bit outside of your normal social circle.<br /><br />All in all if you both are down and have a solid foundation it is so worth it. It's hard to find someone equally into both of you but it can happen.<br /><br />Be safe of course but in the end it's just sex, there may be some missteps but as long as everyone keeps it in perspective it should be fine. Cherry,Harry, and Friendshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05422979623660996436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-61765388162447112792013-04-17T10:28:22.066-04:002013-04-17T10:28:22.066-04:00Katie, if you don't mind me asking, why did yo...Katie, if you don't mind me asking, why did you first decide to take an outside lover (not your husband I mean)... high sex drive?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07296468865595725338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-68007643973575054412013-04-17T03:41:56.184-04:002013-04-17T03:41:56.184-04:00I can only tell you that from my own experience(s)...I can only tell you that from my own experience(s), it can be the most wonderfully exciting and fulfilling** situation . . . as long as you are completely prepared for it. By prepared I mean, that you have BOTH talked about your own desires and expectations . . . and concerns. It seems from your post that you have and the fact that your lady has already had some experience in those situations should be your MOST important focal point. I say that because, from my own point of view, although I knew that my husband had been asking me for years if he could join one of my liaisons with one of my lovers, AND although I did also often fantasize about him being there (whilst I was actually with one of my lovers), I STILL was always worried about two key points. a) Would he actually find the "reality" to be as enjoyable as the "fantasy" or would he suddenly have a change of mind, or feelings of jealousy, or annoyance at my actions. And b) Would I actually be able to let myself go, and really be myself, knowing that my husband was in the room with us.<br />We'd been married for over 20 years and I'd been seeing other lovers for 8 years (with his full knowledge and acceptance . . . and excitement), before it finally did happen. And it almost happened by accident in a way. With a longstanding lover and we'd all been out for drinks together socially a few times beforehand, so it wasn't as if they didn't know each other.<br />But, what I wanted to say about **fulfilling** . . . is that I didn't mean that just sexually (although it certainly is), but actually perhaps the most INCREDIBLE thing is that, in our case, it actually seemed to make our "open" marriage even stronger, and more complete. Sharing something so personal and special is just such a wonderful thing. And for us it just led us onto sharing even more. Never EVER being afraid to say and share anything, thoughts, desires, feelings, fantasies . . . with each other. <br />It was truly wonderful . . . and we have just celebrated our 32nd year together and still going strong (LOL !!!).<br />So, prepare, talk, prepare some more . . . and choose carefully. <br />I wish you fun . . . and love . . . (apologies if this has rambled on far too long!!!)<br />Xxx - Katie Modesty Ablazehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06811412210558154939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-5597647439365126012013-04-16T19:37:25.108-04:002013-04-16T19:37:25.108-04:00Ok, first off...let me just re-echo what we tel yo...Ok, first off...let me just re-echo what we tel you guys all the time. You both are -awesome-. Rye, do not sleep on this. It is known to both parties that it is an ongoing fantasy...and both parties are open to it. So, let it be from there. If it happens, it happens. Now, if you are more interested in it becoming a reality soon, then you'll have to make the decisions of whom, where, and why, etc. But for the time being, no sense worrying and feeling (possibly?) guilty about something that hasn't even taken place. For me personally, in my relationship, I as the girl am the one who is interested in the threesomes. My partner knows, and is ok with it. We are not actively looking, but if it happens, it happens you know?<br /><br />With that said...I think you're both hot as eff. We live in Maryland and I've never been to New York (we moved last year from Cali and I left on a job three weeks later, which I am still on, to overseas). If you decide in six months or so to pursue this...consider your fans!<br /><br />-VisiAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07296468865595725338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7413346588619993246.post-41150502742918242182013-04-16T15:56:32.943-04:002013-04-16T15:56:32.943-04:00My husband and I have been a couple for 11 years, ...My husband and I have been a couple for 11 years, and the threesome topic has been constant for almost that whole time, but no one has been significant enough for us to put in our bed. Perhaps it just falls down to finding that right person and when the chemistry is right, it'll happen. At least you guys have kick ass sex already! (Sorry, I had to delete the previous comment) xxxScarlett Duboishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04485061396524614593noreply@blogger.com