On D'Angelo's Direct Responsibility For Most Of My Sexuality

On January 11th, 2000, D'Angelo's Voodoo was released. It kicked off the most sexual year of my young life, and nothing got me thinking about this more than a recent BuzzFeed post, "Hey Girl, D'Angelo Wants To Know How You Feel." Guys, I know it sounds like I'm setting up an elaborate and hilarious joke, but I swear to all things that are fucking holy, I am not. To prove it, Exhibit A:

Didja feel that, ladies and gentlemen? That was 16 year old Violet's sexual awakening. And it got worse. Much, much worse.

N'Joyed.

Please, let this post serve as a warning. To anyone that is looking to buy an N'Joy Purewand for yourself, for your significant other or for a friend this holiday season, this is what will happen to their pussy.

You've been warned.