The Sucking and Fucking Tour 2012.

Well, today marks our departure for The Sucking and Fucking Tour 2012. We'll be off for the rest of the week, at beaches and assorted nice places, most likely eating and drinking things, showing a lot of tit and being generally unacceptable for public consumption. We might be checking in sporadically in case someone urgently needs us and our frank sexual chatter, who's to say?

Enjoy your weeks, you lovable gang of perverts!


Want To Get Your Fucking Socks Knocked Off?

Well, we have to talk about something. It's going to be really hard for me to be objective about it, so you're just going to have to be fucking patient because I'm about to make a lot of declarative statements about a vibrator.  Mmmkay? Here we go.

You need to buy a fucking LELO Ina right fucking now. Do not fucking delay. Buy it for your girlfriend, or wife, or friend who needs to have eleventy orgasms. Buy it for yourself. Buy it for someone you don't even know yet so that when they meet you they'll know how thoughtful you are. Go buy one. Save your pennies if you have to -- I know it's an investment. But just go buy this thing.

Am I being clear enough?


Stand with Fred.

Oh, hey. Do you think it's weird and a waste of police officer time to arrest an old dude jerking off in a porn theater? Cool, us too.

You've probably heard about the Fred Willard arrest by now. We're big fans of his comedy and we think he got a shit deal the other day.

Let's be honest, it's not like most of us haven't jerked off in public before. We just didn't get caught. And if we did, we're not celebrities, so not everyone fucking knows about it.

Cheap Pizza and Tits.

Some nights, after you've been sick for a little too long and are more than a bit burned out, only one remedy will do.


And so it was.



Hey there, literary tit lovers and tit havers, we've got some news for you. We've started a new tumblr, which showcases both good lit and great tits.

It's called Tit-Lit.

If you follow us on Twitter, you've heard us talk about it, and may have already seen it. Either way, we want to give you a holler today about a very important issue, submitting your tits.

That's right. This tumblr is a community oriented blog. We want photos of you with a good book and your top off. Violet's got a few shots up, with a fresh one posting today. And Rose Redder, our friend that wrote this great post, and co-creator of Tit-Lit, also brought out the tits with the Didion.



Years, that is. Today marks it. We've been doing this motherfucking sex blog for two motherfucking years.

And now we're done.


Beers and Boobs.

This summer has been FUCKING HOT, guys. Like, really, really hot. The kind of weather that inspires you to stay inside instead of heading out into the swamp mouth that's consumed the city.

Our new friend to help us through this overheated summer is none other than Corona Familiar. While we think Corona is pretty fucking terrible as far as Mexican beers go, this Familiar stuff is strangely not bad. The weird catch is that it's EXACTLY the same beer as Corona Extra, but the brown bottle keeps that nasty ass skunk away from your beverage. Also, it only comes in 32 oz. bottles, so you pretty much have to throw down on it. Toss a lime in that bitch and you're SET for a glorious summer evening. Even in the swamp mouth.


4th, Part 2.

Where were we?

This is where we left off, right?
Oh right, the 4th...

After a day in the park, we landed back at home. We had a party to go to later, but we needed some decompression time, from our decompression time. Mostly, we mean sex. And snacking. But mostly sex. So yeah, things went DOWN.


It's Handjob Time!

Yeah, that's right. Get out the lotion, put on some Isley Brothers and bring those big, sexy nipples on over here...

It's handjob time!


Oh, I See What You Did There.

Oh, you're just playing your instruments?
It looks WAY dirtier from where I'm sitting.
Carry on.


Channel Orange.

Frank Ocean (who you may know from our video, Violet+Rye or from all the press about his recent post on his tumblr, which discussed how he fell in love with a man*) has his debut record, Channel Orange out today. Lucky for us, he put a link to a full stream on his tumblr.

You should probably just follow his tumblr already, right?

From http://frankocean.tumblr.com
 So anyway, the reason we're gathered here is that I already listened once this morning. And...

IT'S GOOD. It will be on for the rest of our summer. THAT good. REALLY, really GOOD.

*The reaction to this news coming from a large majority of hip hop fans has been absolutely fucking disgusting and we're horrified. We've got a LONG way to go, people. It's just SEXXXXXXXX!!!



Let's Go-Go.

This weekend, we were fortunate enough to be in the crowd for the Wasabassco Stagg Party at The Bell House. Although there were many delights that evening (Madame Rosebud made a delectable appearance, as did Marlo Marquise who was literally on fire, and we will never forget Gal Friday and Peekaboo Pointe's bounce-off), one of our unexpected favorite moments was the go-go intermission. Note to all performance spaces ever: a go-go intermission is the best kind of set break we can think of.

Nasty Canasta via Stagg Street