If You're Calling It Fingerbanging, Something Is WRONG.

Leave it to Vice. Sometimes we forget how spot-on their advice can be, how biting their wit can be and how utterly correct they are about certain repeated pitfalls of human sexuality -- i.e, "don't slap the bean."

Ladies, when getting taken care of via finger by your partners, we know there are certain things you're dying to cry out. But sometimes we don't. Shouting, "fucking stop doing that, it's terrible!" in the act doesn't appeal to anyone, especially considering how sensitive our collective sexual egos can be.

Violet's Sex Diary: Part 1.

We love the Sex Diary series in New York Magazine so goddamn much. So, after reading them for so long, not to mention seeing other bloggers participate, we decided it was time to participate. So, here it is, Violet's Sex Diary. Featuring a whole lot of Rye. This is the first part in a three part series.

What? How do YOU diary?

Cunnilinged.

If you follow us on Twitter, you know that we were on a tear this Sunday. It's a tear we've been on before, and it's a tear we'll undoubtedly be on again. But it all boils down to one simple fact:

Men have great terms for getting oral sex. Women don't.

FUCK that. As someone that LOVES the act of going down on a woman, I'm offended. And I don't even have a pussy, so I know how women must feel.

A favorite pastime, in my bearded phase.