A PSA on Nasty Toys.

Apologies in advance for getting a little serious on you today.

But you need it.
Your vagina needs it.
Your asshole needs it.
Your brain needs it.

As you know, we're huge fans of sex toys around these parts. What you might not know, however, is that we're also super crazy organic people that don't keep any harsh chemicals in the house. Our bodies are too important to us to allow that kind of shit in close proximity. And you can bet your ass that our bodies are also too important to be putting those same harsh chemicals IN our bodies. You know, through the pussy. Or asshole.

Yep, this may surprise some of you (hopefully it doesn't, because you're well aware of this by now), but a lot of sex toys contain really terrible shit. And that terrible shit goes right into your hoo-ha when you get yourself off with it.

For REAL.

Rye Cleans Up.

For someone with such a filthy mind, he cleans up nicely. It is seriously way too rare that we get to objectify him in quite this way. Lathered up, stark naked, bathed in sunshine. I just love the way the water spins off all his parts. We think you will too.

Also, of note, outdoor showers are basically the best places in existence.

From the Mailbag: Making Love vs. Fucking.

Violet, what's your take on the difference between fucking and "making love"? Do you ever ask to "make love to me"? And is it possible to "make love" anally? My girlfriend says no, as it's a more submissive act, and raunchy. Great blog, thanks! 

Farewell to Prime Burger.

Yes, we've posted this before.
And yes, we're posting it again.

Because today, Prime Burger will serve its last burger.
Yep. The building was sold and they will cease to be after today.

Farewell, Prime! We hope you come back soon, in a new location. And yet, somehow, we doubt it.

Always Thinking of Us.

A few mornings ago, after I left for work, Rye took matters into his own hands.

He was kind enough to document that for us.

Humunuh.

"So, I sent you a video," he said.

"Sent me a video where?"

"Oh, to our porn email."

Here is what I found, and good god, am I happy to share it with you perverts.

With No Pants On.

R: We always have such good intentions about Uncommon Appetites photos on vacation.
V: Well, I took my pants off in the street yesterday.

Violet tweeted this while we were on our trip. And you bet your ass (and hers) that we'd be showing you the results.

Because.

Because last week was a week for vacation.

For eating good things.
And not checking email.

For ignoring social media.
And reading old books about food.

For weather too nice for May.
And getting sunburned for our eagerness to lie in it.

For having adventures.
And exploring places.
And ourselves.
And each other.

For drinking iced coffee on porches.
And sneaking photos on those same porches.
And in public.

Perverted Road Trip.

Hello, darlings. We'll be absent for the rest of the week, taking a little vacation to soothe our brains and sneak dirty pictures in other states.

We promise to return with photographic evidence of our exploits and a renewed enthusiasm for making you jerk yourselves off. See you soon!

Ladies, Get Your Swagger Back.

I'm getting a little grumbly about something today, you guys. I fell down a video hole today, as I often do, trying to find something to share for mutual wanking and appreciation.

What I found was a lot of this:

K. K. from Pavel Pavlov on Vimeo.

Please don't get me wrong, that's a beautiful woman in a beautifully filmed short movie (and DANG, I love your tattoo). But GOD, does anyone ever really roll around on a bed to seduce their partner? Does anyone ever really ruffle their hair over their faces and coo to incite lust?