On D'Angelo's Direct Responsibility For Most Of My Sexuality

On January 11th, 2000, D'Angelo's Voodoo was released. It kicked off the most sexual year of my young life, and nothing got me thinking about this more than a recent BuzzFeed post, "Hey Girl, D'Angelo Wants To Know How You Feel." Guys, I know it sounds like I'm setting up an elaborate and hilarious joke, but I swear to all things that are fucking holy, I am not. To prove it, Exhibit A:

Didja feel that, ladies and gentlemen? That was 16 year old Violet's sexual awakening. And it got worse. Much, much worse.

GET IT!

Well, the trailer might have been rejected from XTube and pulled from Vimeo, but the trailer and full video for "A Taste of Violet" are LIVE on MakeLoveNotPorn.tv as we speak!

What are you waiting for?

New Video: A Taste of Violet.

This weekend, after a morning stroll to the Farmers' Market, where we were met with a disappointing selection of spring veggies, we headed home to welcome spring in the only other way we know how, a little sex in the sunshine.

Rye's Cunt.

What follows is an email that I sent to Violet the other day, before meeting some friends for drinks.


"When we see each other at the bar tonight, I will have a few things on me.

1. A Sharpie.
2. Arousal balm.

You will take these from my pocket and on your first trip to the bathroom, you will do three things.

1. Rub the arousal balm on your clit and both nipples.
2. Write, where you are able to around your pussy, "Rye's cunt" with the Sharpie.
3. Take a photo of your freshly tagged pussy.

You will hold on to the balm. On return trips to the bathroom, should there be any, you will reapply the balm to your clit and your nipples. Each trip, you will take an additional photo, of whatever you see fit.

When we get home from drinks, there will be additional tasks awaiting you."

Come Here.

Some days are lazy. And much needed.

And on those days, we almost always give it to ourselves.

Just the Three of Us.

Let's talk about threesomes.

What You're Missing.

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Almost Twins

I think we all remember how much I loved the LELO Ina. In case you need a memory refresher, I called it the best vibrator ever invented, insisted that you go buy it and even included a David Bowie GIF to convince you. I regret to inform you of some devastating news: the Ina 2 is just not as good.

What I've discovered in the blessed task of reviewing sex toys, is that it's truly a game of inches. In the Ina 2's case, it was an inch in the wrong direction. 

Excuse Us, Agent Cooper: Would You Like A Slice Of Pie?

SOMETHING IS HAPPENING THAT YOU GUYS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT. He's right here in the bath and his name is Dale Cooper.

If you are not acquainted with this man, take a deep breath in because you're about to get real acquainted with his forearms, thighs, cheeky smile, love for Radiohead and expert ability to make us giggle and then need to fuck immediately.

Toying with the Aneros.

I've been putting off a review of the Aneros Maximus for quite some time now. During that time, I've tested the toy again and again. Each time, I end up with the same result, this thing is the fucking tits.