The Last Resort? Our Resort.

These are interesting times for your favorite pervs. As you know, we don't show our faces. We barely show most of our bodies, actually, due to tattoos being dead giveaways to any friends that might read this. We're mostly resigned to the fact that the 50-60 people that have been to our apartment would TOTALLY recognize us from this blog. Mostly. We still sneak around some of the more obvious elements of our place.

However, when you make beautiful porn in your free time, the opportunities come knocking, apparently. And are, let's be blunt about it, a bit difficult to resist. Especially given the types of people that have been making these offers.

But then there are endless questions that come with it all. Like, are we really going to fuck each other for a living? Should we? Would we? Could we? And what the fuck would we tell friends and family?

You see, most people in this world have allies in the battle. They've got friends that maybe have sex blogs too. Or are open enough to not think it's the least bit weird. But when you're college educated, highly intellectual, music obsessed, hipstery nerds that also happen to enjoy fucking and documenting on occasion said fuckings, you're looked at a bit oddly in this world. Though you'd think we'd certainly just the type to have some sex-positive allies, wouldn't you? Maybe we do, maybe we're just being overly cautious. But still, we're fully expecting the, "YOU'RE DOING WHAT???" response from family certainly and friends mostly.


Why is porn looked at with such stigma in this culture? Why is it assumed that people working in porn are stupid? Or have daddy issues? Or are drug addicts? Or seek attention and fame?

Maybe because there are people like that in porn. But maybe it's time to fucking change that. Isn't it? 

After all, we're smart. 
Well read. 
Have varied interests, including an obsession with food that borders on the unhealthy. 
Possess a pair of sharp political minds. 
We love writing. 
And reading. 
And surfing. 
And eating. 
And collecting vinyl. 
And making incredibly complicated cocktails with obscure ingredients. 
And eating. 
And cooking. 
And eating. 
And writing about the cooking and eating.

Also, we love to fuck. And write about fucking. And taking photos of each other before, after and during fucking. And sometimes making videos of that same activity. 

We're good at it. 
We enjoy it. 

And it would be such a kickass lifestyle, allowing us to work from home. 
To travel. 
To work together. 
To listen to that vinyl all day. 
While cooking. 
And then writing about the cooking and eating.

So why don't we? 

What would our friends say? 
Would we ever be able to get other jobs? 
Would we fail and go broke? 
And then not be able to work office jobs again?

Yet we try to remind ourselves that it's different now. There are people like Camille, Mike and Sophie. People like Jiz Lee and Erika Lust. Companies like Blue Artichoke. People that are changing porn. For the better. Making porn with people in love, or people in lust, at the very least. Real sex. Not just paid strangers in a room, faking it or displaying the emptiness that is so obvious on camera. This new porn movement is captured on video and looks hot as fuck. It's well edited. Gorgeously shot. Inspiring AND arousing.

But to our parents, to people not familiar with porn and all the different avenues people are taking within it just see it as a last resort. A place you go when you're at the end of your rope, financially or because of drugs. Not a place you go to create. To inspire. To share. To change. To open minds. And then turn those minds on.

But we do. And maybe we'll win out. Stay tuned.


  1. I know of being in the shadows of anonymity. It's very difficult to reconcile when all you want to do is shout "THIS IS A HUGE PART OF MY LIFE, DEAL WITH IT, PRUDES!" *sigh*

    Whatever you two sexy beasts do, I'll watch and enjoy and support. Much love!

  2. To be honest, my dear Rye, I've been considering a lot of the same. I have no idea why I don't just take that step...

    xx Jilly

  3. I think we are on the edge of something new and exciting as far as porn/erotica goes, and I absolutely feel that you are on the forefront.

    It's been amazing watching you two find your wings and make this your own. Keep it up!

  4. This is in interesting and I think a version of a common dilemma for many sex bloggers.

    I was outed about my sex blog to my parents, by a very unhelpful busybody. My Mum hates it but after a lot of thought about it I have decided I am proud of my blog, my pictures, my writing and the person I am. The issues she has are her issues to deal with not mine. Life is too short to spend living it in the shadows or even not at all just to keep others happy. I have found that people who are true friends accept my blog as just another part of the friend they like. If they like it they come and read it and if they don't then they stay away but whichever choice they make they have remained my friends.

    I think the choices you are faced with are truly tricky ones but being a tiny bit older and having lived a few more years than you my one piece of advice would be, grab it while you can and strive to live the dream. I have found it is the things I don't do in life that I have lived to regret not the things I did.

    Good luck


  5. Thanks for facing these issues. You aren't alone. My partner Maggie and I have been performing in porn for the past few years, while working on grad school and other projects. We find that it's hard for us to be in the adult industry without fighting to change it - to empower performers by providing more distribution tools and affiliate marketing information, and trying to start a network of skill and resource sharing to decrease a performer's reliance on studios. Especially with the safety and accessibility of webcaming, there is a greater variety of people getting sexy on camera than ever before. People from all geographical areas, social classes, and body types. The stigma against porn has left a vacuum of technology and innovation, and the changing nature of the internet is making the market more and more accessible to independent performers. Most porn producers refuse to adapt, either in their content or their technology. It's a challenge to be in this industry. The fear that you have is justified. But it's also a really exciting opportunity to enact change in an industry that desperately needs it.

    Feel free to get in touch if you need advice, camaraderie, encouragement, or your own paysite.

  6. It's somewhat funny, how a lot of the questions about doing porn, can also be asked to a person getting a tattoo - well, at least 30-20 something years ago.

    People who got tattoed were faced with the same thing people who choose to do porn/erotica are today; begging for attention, a bad seed, a hooligan, people with tattoos had trouble getting a job.

    But things have changed - all sorts of people get ink these, from all walks of life. Maybe that will happen with people in porn/erotica too? We can only hope.

    Modern pornography needs people like you Violet+Rye. It needs amazing people like Camille Crimson and Mike Flirt, like Max and Lillyanne from Pornographic Love - people who do something else, then what all the others are doing.

    As you write in your blog entry - you guys are much more then just sex - it's big part of who you are but not everything. And this is important. You offer so much more then just skin, you offer music, political commentary, cinema, a complete picture of what it means to be a couple and that includes sex.

    I hope you make the jump, but it's all up to you, and whatever you decide (?) I for one will support you 100 procent.

  7. So, wow. As I said on Twitter, I felt this post coming for a while. If it gives you any measure of support, you two are my heroes. I love your blog b/c you are like my husband and me. I wouldn't be surprised to discover you're my neighbor/co-worker/college buddy, etc. And when I did find out I'd be equal parts nervous and thrilled for you that you're doing this (or maybe doing this).

    You are my heroes because even though you are dealing with the fear of taking this public, in the part of your life that you do share here you are obviously fearless. Maybe that comes from the security you have with each other, maybe somewhere else. Regardless, it's HOT. It's taken others of us (yeah, OK, me) many more years to find the freedom to be so fearless in love and lust.

    And that makes those of us who love what you do hot, wet, excited, and even a teeny bit jealous.

  8. The problem with stigmas is that they take years to overturn, since minds need to be changed, one by one, and the minds that can't be changed need to die.

    But the stigmas of divorce, premarital sex and gay/lesbian sex are mostly gone, and in time any stigma associated with lovemaking on film (let's retire the pejorative "porn") will fade as well.

  9. On the face of it, being paid for what you enjoy doing, and are doing anyway, can seem like the ultimate "money for nothing" scenario. But would it stay that way?

    Would you be able to retain the ultimate creative freedom that you have now? Would you still do it for the love of it, or because some lascivious dollar-hungry producer wants more product? Would your passion be eroded in the face of an onslaught of views, margins, merchandise and balance sheets?

    And what shape is the porn industry in, really? I've watched enough (ahem!) to know that there is a real need for passionate couples genuinely into each other to film their activities. A quality replacement for the endless perfunctory set-pieces we see at the minute.

    But here's my real concern on your behalf: I haven't paid for porn in more than ten years. There's a rank of streaming sites spewing out more clips than my little internet pipe can cope with. I don't give them any money. So, if I -- the consumer -- is not paying, then how do you -- the supplier -- get paid? From where does the money come for video equipment, editing, sets, props, distribution, bandwidth etc? I really wonder about porn as a sustainable business now that sites are delivering thrills for no money at all.

    If you can monetise what you're doing without it compromising the beautiful relationship you have, then go for it. But please be careful to make sure you don't get ripped off and then discarded.

  10. My husband and I have considered this too. Our tattoos are small but they are in places that are hard to not have on camera and anyone would recognize us immediately. So we're still trying to decide how best to go about it too.

  11. Do what will make you truly happy... I for one enjoy the secrecy of wondering what you really look like, what the tats are etc. Everyone has an opinion but mine would be just to be happy with whatever decision you make and be prepared for any possible consequences. I would ask one question - will you have kids one day that you would be okay with them doing porn? Beautiful or not it is still porn

  12. Wow, everybody! We're super overwhelmed by all the responses here! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, stories, beliefs and compliments. We love having all of you as readers here and can't thank you enough for the support!

    Now, to address each of you:

    Anisa and Jilly - For real! We've all got to learn to just come out and tell everyone to deal with it!

    Daisy - Amazing! What a thought! And wouldn't that be wonderful if we are actually on that edge, helping to change the way people think about sex?

    Molly - That's SO interesting! What kind of person outs you to a parent??? SO odd. But good for you, staying strong and letting her deal with her own issues.

    Ned - Thanks so much for joining in! So happy to have you here. Your perspective is a great one to have in here, so thanks for chiming in. And we'll take you up on that offer to chat sometime soon, I'm sure.

    Christian - What an interesting take on it! Funny to think of it that same way as tattoos. And yet you go on XTube and there are SO many people getting busy. So you might be right on target there.

    Liza - AWWWWWW. So sweet!

    Hardin - You're totally right. Change is coming! Progress, after all, is an unstoppable train. And we'd totally call it that, but even typing lovemaking makes me feel a little weird. How about filmed fucking?

    Libido - A very fine point. And certainly something we've considered. But at the end of the day, the same way as music and film, it's the studio model that doesn't work. Taking your work into your own hands, and cutting out those systems is the way of the future. And in order to sustain a site like this, you only need several hundred monthly subscriptions. Whereas a studio needs to sell thousands upon thousands of films for you to even be considered worthwhile. In the meantime, may we suggest you find a performer you really enjoy and support them? If you like good porn, good music, good film, or anything else of high quality, it will help make sure that quality stuff stays around.

    Nerdy - It's certainly not an easy debate. But it looks like you're getting out there already! Welcome to the sex blog world!

    Chris - As for the kids, not too worried. How bad is it to know that your parents love each other and have sex? We believe that sex is completely normal, natural and something that should be discussed openly. It's kind of the whole point we're going for here. So yes, if we had kids, they would know and we'd be ok with it. Doesn't mean we want them watching...but hell yeah we'd be ok with it. Sex is fun. And WAY better for kids to know about than most shit that the media feeds them.


  13. I am a casual visitor to your blog, but enjoy the things that set it apart from "porn" (the art aspect, something left to the imagination, the fact you are a real couple, and on and on). Just reading the above comments makes one realize the intellect of those who appreciate what you two do. However, LibidoScot's comments struck me the most; the porn "industry" is such a vile machine, sucking in anything that comes around it, homogenizing it, profiting, and then casting it aside. If you two decide to go forward, learn from those who have gone before, listen to their advice, learn from their mistakes, keep control of your lives and your art, and always beware of those who would seek to steal, control, and otherwise change what it is YOU want to do. Best wishes for your success, whatever you decide.

  14. Thanks for jumping into the ring, casual blog reader! So nice to hear from someone that doesn't chime in all that often. It's definitely good to know the things you like about us, it's a hard thing to pin down and is different for so many people.

    And yes, we totally hear you and agree about the "industry". The people we've talked to are outside of that term, most certainly. And it would merely be us continuing to treat our content the way we do now. In very good hands. But we certainly appreciate the concern and respect the opinions and thoughtful comments that are coming our way.

    Thanks again for jumping into the comment thread!


  15. I consider myself a fan of your blog and, in that respect, I'm all for any move that leads to more of your beautiful content.

    I also want to share that your site, along with Camille's sites, literally changed my life in incredibly positive ways. My wife and I had fallen into a rut after many years together. And, honestly, my sexual life turned into watching really crappy free Internet porn, masturbating, and feeling ashamed and guilty. It was pretty miserable.

    Then, I found your site and Camille's sites. Your positive, open minded attitudes; your attention to quality and good taste; your exuberance for positive sex -- all shook me at my core and woke up long dormant positive feelings about sex. I shared your site with my wife. We started talking about sex again. And, doing, too! Most of all, you made me think about my beliefs and values around sex and sexuality; and, you provide quality and style that makes it all feel good as it should.

    Whatever decisions you make in the future, I want you to know that what you've shared and the way you've shared it are wonderful and change people's lives for the better.

  16. Well guys, i think it's pretty clear from the above comments that you are already making a change in nowadays approach to porn, or more correctly sex art, and i can confidently say that i truly believe you are pioneers, and encourage you to keep going, as far as you can imagine, and most importantly - as far as you you want.

    what you are doing is a very brave thing, and quite amazing.

    I think i speak not only for myself in saying you have my full support in your journey into the unknown, which it appears that you face with outstanding grace and appeal, and great support and communication between the two of you, both key values in a relationship in my opinion.

    I'm sure you are wonderful people in real life too, and who knows - maybe one day i'll be lucky to meet you face to face - after all, it's a small world we live in :)

    Keep going, so that one day i'll be able yo tell people i witnessed first handedly a revolution.

    Yours truly,

    P.S regarding the music - while i'm writing am listening for the millionth time to one of the better albums i encountered:

    Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not

    More for the rock lovers, but top quality stuff.

    Have a wonderful weekend!

  17. Anon - Wow, that seriously blew us away. What an unbelievably kind thing to say about what we do here. We couldn't be happier to help pull you out of that rut and are seriously just so, so, so flattered by this response. Thanks SO much for writing in with with such a lovely story. And all the best to you and your wife. May your explorations continue!

    ps Shared this comment with Camille, who said, "That is so wonderful! That made my cheeks warm from blushing!"

    Tsachi - Thanks for the warm, lovely thoughts. A revolution is just what's needed!

    And yep, that first Arctic Monkeys record was pretty great, though they lost us after that one.