Please, let this post serve as a warning. To anyone that is looking to buy an N'Joy Purewand for yourself, for your significant other or for a friend this holiday season, this is what will happen to their pussy.

You've been warned.


The Sex Sessions.

As you well know by now, we've been fucking busy. And not too busy fucking. New jobs, busier jobs, exhausting jobs, blah blah. We love them, but the whole neglected sex bit needs to change.

We took to it this weekend. On Saturday, despite having a list of things we needed to get done, a laundry list of errands and things we wanted to go eat, it was thrown out the window. Instead, I told Violet she'd get five orgasms and we'd figure the rest of the day out afterward.

She didn't turn that offer down, because who turns that offer down?


Too Hot For Instagram.

Fun with Instagram...

Two of these no longer exist on Instagram. Can you guess which two?

Also, if you're on there, give us a follow, we're UCAppetites.