Let's Go-Go.

This weekend, we were fortunate enough to be in the crowd for the Wasabassco Stagg Party at The Bell House. Although there were many delights that evening (Madame Rosebud made a delectable appearance, as did Marlo Marquise who was literally on fire, and we will never forget Gal Friday and Peekaboo Pointe's bounce-off), one of our unexpected favorite moments was the go-go intermission. Note to all performance spaces ever: a go-go intermission is the best kind of set break we can think of.

Nasty Canasta via Stagg Street

Ladies, Get Your Swagger Back.

I'm getting a little grumbly about something today, you guys. I fell down a video hole today, as I often do, trying to find something to share for mutual wanking and appreciation.

What I found was a lot of this:

K. K. from Pavel Pavlov on Vimeo.

Please don't get me wrong, that's a beautiful woman in a beautifully filmed short movie (and DANG, I love your tattoo). But GOD, does anyone ever really roll around on a bed to seduce their partner? Does anyone ever really ruffle their hair over their faces and coo to incite lust?

Woman.

Hey dudes, dance party.

Woman from redkedscom on Vimeo.

On this Good Friday, we wanted to bring a little GoodMOTHEROFGODFRIDAY. You know, porn can take itself awfully seriously sometimes. Every once in a while, we like it to make us giggle, jump up and down and then deal with our boners. Also, the fact that this appears to be soundtracked to some unholy LCD Soundsystem/Wolfmother combination is treating us just fine. Stick around for the breakdown at 1:28. You won't be sorry.

Women of the world, thank you for shaking your asses on camera. Get ready to bust those shorts out, everyone! I feel real spring coming!

But, We Do Love You.

Oh no. How did I not see this until now?

"Why Don't You Love Me" - Beyoncé from Beyoncé on Vimeo.

There are some serious moments of genius in here. The Bettie Page hairdo? The boob jiggling? The butt shaking? The leopard teddy? I'm sighing. And watching it again. You too, right?

Phew.

Oh, hello. I found another video for you. I know what you're thinking: two days of videos in a row? I know! But, here's the thing: this exists!

Suicidegirls vs Napoleon Dynamite from SuicideGirls on Vimeo.

Yeah! It's Friday, guys! Let's party! There are nerdy naked girls dancing around for us! Girls who are still demonstrating a commitment to Napoleon Dynamite for some reason! Girls who despite trying desperately to look like an uncoordinated loser, still manage to accidentally be really, really sexy at times.

I mean, I think we all know I'm a sucker for those panties, right? Happy weekend, darlings.

And listen, here's a tip: do not miss what we have in store for you on Monday.

Satisfied.

Hello, darlings. You have all been so patiently waiting around, listening to us rant about sexual transparency, female desire, what porn should be and how we should talk about it. What follows below has very little to do with that. What follows below is pure, unadulterated eye candy from us to you.

Satisfied. brought to you by PornHub

When I heard this song for the first time, making this was all I could think of. Let's say goodbye to winter with one last rush of Christmas lights, shall we?

A Different Kind of Work-Out.

Uh, full disclosure: a gym made this video? It is not porn. I mean, depending on your definition. I don't think that their intention was for you to wank to it, but I would be pretty fucking surprised if no one did. Just, holy wow, woman. She is gorgeous, the video is gorgeous, and just wait for the close-ups on her stomach muscles while she's upside-down.



For those of you who are wondering, this is why I do yoga. Nowhere near this level yet, but I swear to you, if and when I get there, you will get one of these - Violet-style (naked).

Emergency Boner Supply Kit.

Citizen: do you not have a boner? Please remain calm, Beyoncé and I are here to help.

Sigh. I love this woman. Like, so much that I get teased about it. It comes in waves. Today when I saw this video, there was a significant wave.

All Those Hands Inside Those Jeans.

I often talk about the chuckle and little bristle of pride that I get when a man cat-calls me in public. I know I'm supposed to be offended by his thinking of me as a sex object, but let's be honest: I like being a sex object sometimes. This particular line of thinking got me to wondering if other women cat-call men in their heads as much as I do. And, let's be honest, when you see all this ass up in them jeans, you're going to know why I'm asking.

I mean, why don't we do this? Sometimes I catch a glimpse of my husband's ass while he's going about his daily activities and am just like, DAMN SON.

This one might be my favorite of the bunch. If you're thinking to yourself, "I'd like to take a bite out of that." I'll tell you from experience; yes, you really would.

Sweet dreams, ladies. Maybe some day this week, we'll all be emboldened to look that well-dressed man on the subway in the eye and ask him to shake what his mama gave him.