From the Mailbag: Making Love vs. Fucking.

Violet, what's your take on the difference between fucking and "making love"? Do you ever ask to "make love to me"? And is it possible to "make love" anally? My girlfriend says no, as it's a more submissive act, and raunchy. Great blog, thanks! 

The Gentle Introduction of Ass-Play.

My boyfriend is very willing to explore sexually with me, and loves me for the fact that I am so liberated and willing to try new things. However, there is one thing he is very shy about: his ass. Ever since he went down on mine, and took my anal virginity, I have been dying to give him that same pleasure. However, he is one of those men that, to a certain extent, equates anal penetration with homosexuality in men. I have told him I want to go down on his ass, and he is willing to let me, although I haven't done so yet. He knows I would like to try pegging, but I think he is a little afraid of it. Any ideas on how to gently ease him into ass play? 

Back in the Saddle.

I have been having pain during sex, which has led to my husband and I not being intimate very much. I avoid it for fear of pain, and he worries about hurting me. The problem is me sort of involuntarily clenching those muscles and being unable to relax. I can go from being quite relaxed to totally tense in the space of a couple seconds if sex is going to happen. He knows that this is not something I'm doing consciously, and not something that I want to do, but it is driving a bit of a wedge between us, physically. I see there are 'dilator kits' for vaginismus, which seems like a good idea, but kind of costly.

via Hottie, Hott, Hot - by Alexander Tikhomirov

I don't own any sex toys, but since my husband raised this as an issue earlier this month, I have mentioned several times that I am totally open to working on becoming comfortable with sex again. I do want to tackle this but feel a bit lost as a person who just doesn't talk about sex. Help!

From the Mailbag! 2nd Edition.

We keep telling you to write in, but do you listen? Well, a few of you. But the rest? Shameful! How are we supposed to know what's wanted from us when we get no requests? Questions? Pic requests? Anything? You'll remain anonymous, like us, so fire away! 

That being said, here is a question that came in during our recent vacation, which, in our minds, we have still been on. You've probably noticed if you've been checking the blog. We'll try harder, promise. Anyway, thanks to the reader that sent this in, and sorry it took so long. Had to work up the nerve.

Question – What is a fantasy of either of you that has yet to take place?

From the Mailbag!

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