If You're Calling It Fingerbanging, Something Is WRONG.

Leave it to Vice. Sometimes we forget how spot-on their advice can be, how biting their wit can be and how utterly correct they are about certain repeated pitfalls of human sexuality -- i.e, "don't slap the bean."

Ladies, when getting taken care of via finger by your partners, we know there are certain things you're dying to cry out. But sometimes we don't. Shouting, "fucking stop doing that, it's terrible!" in the act doesn't appeal to anyone, especially considering how sensitive our collective sexual egos can be.

MakeLoveNotPorn Trailer Time!

Now, we've given you some access to these trailers before, but with the public launch of MakeLoveNotPorn last night, it seemed like a good time to remind everyone just what's happening over there.

Each video comes, or will be coming, with a trailer of some sort. Whether it's an introduction by the filmmakers, a clip talking about what the circumstances behind the video are, or a taste of what's in the video, the "Peek" button on each video will get you access to that.

These are the trailers we put together for the first four of our MakeLoveNotPorn videos. The fifth edition can be found on the site, but we haven't loaded it into XTube yet. Head on over and click on that video's "Peek" button to get a taste!

Use Your Hands.

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It's Handjob Time!

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Panting.

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Handjobs, Stockings and Leonard Cohen.

When we put together our "Ten Most Fuckable Songs Ever" list this past week, Leonard Cohen never would have crossed either of our pervy, salacious minds.

Yet somehow...

The song in this context gives the grainy, far-away footage a nostalgic quality. Like at the end of "Home for the Holidays," when the never actually captured home movies from their past hit the screen.

Except, you know, fucking.

Oh, and the date stamp helps sell the period nature of this piece.

Pic Friday: Handjobs for the Holidays.

I know, right? Handjobs?I've heard many an argument that the handjobs deserves to stay in high school, where it originated. Once you put a cock in your mouth, you're past the point of jerking one off.

But you know, sometimes a good tug is what it takes. Violet likes to slather her hands in lube and give my cock a full massage, writhing her hands around in a continuous, fluid motion, not stopping until I unload on her tits. Try to argue against that.

As for a good old fashioned fingerbang, forget it. Violet fucking loves it. I rub up against her g-spot and game over. I love the way I can overpower her when I slide my fingers in. She wants to push back, or take my cock into her dripping pussy, but I never let her. At least until she creams all over my two fingers.

What's not to love about that?

So here you have it, an ode to the handjob. Whether from another, with another or on your own. Glorious.

Oh, and extra points if you know what band the title references.