Sluts: Ethical and Otherwise

Y'all. What a year.

Sometimes it's hard to reconcile personal victories during a time fraught with so much pain for so many other people. We had a great fucking year. But fuck -- what a year.

It's been about a year since we've made a video or written a post, but as you all probably know, that didn't mean we took a break from perversion. In fact, it's really only intensified.

We have free time again. So we got all bonered-up and made a new video.

Two summers ago, we decided to experiment with opening our relationship to outside sexual experiences. I had a sweaty, awkward, morning tryst with a cabana boy. It was fun and satisfying, but I forgot that fucking men in their twenties often requires overcoming certain learned behaviors. (i.e., Yes, please pick me up and throw me around. No, please don't put your thumb in my mouth like a fish hook.) Afterward, I felt guilty and confused. Rye and I got in a huge fight. I decided we might not be cut out for this.

In the fall, we had a threesome with a female friend. All three of us had a great time -- she's a woman who likes to fuck and likes to fuck her friends even more. It was sexy, less awkward, we all came hard and we're friends to this day. Rye and I talked about how that felt like the right kind of thing to do.

Then it was winter. Winter in our new life is strange -- summer is frenetic, crazed, high intensity and packed to the gills with things to do and people to see (and people whose parts you'd like to see). In winter, our business closes down for the season, as do most others. Our summer friends go back to their real lives. We read books, sit in front of the fireplace, plan trips and go down on each other a lot more. Having an extra-marital fuck date during this part of the year feels more difficult. It requires actively deciding to spend time with someone else, as opposed to the blur of the summer where having someone else to help get Rye or I off feels like a necessary service. We took that first winter off. It was all too much.

Flash forward to this summer. I forced myself to finish reading "The Ethical Slut." We thought deeply about how love isn't a finite resource. We both, Rye and I, committed to the idea that we were capable of sharing the enormous wealth of love, sexuality and caring we collectively produce with other sluts -- some ethical, some otherwise.

This has seriously become our mantra. Every time I feel like we're doing something insane, I read it again.

I fucked the cabana boy again. I felt more confident in the choice to do so, in my body, in my sexual agility. I pulled out a vibrator (which I was originally worried would intimidate him, but he actually got very excited about). I was wetter, happier, more comfortable grabbing onto his ridiculously muscly body and telling him what to do with it. It was better for both of us. We agreed that we'd do it again. He revealed to me that he had a girlfriend now. I sighed. Another one bites the dust.

Rye devoted the majority of his summer to the pursuit of a bodaciously hot friend. She is covered in tattoos, gives zero fucks and has a tongue almost as sharp as her smile is lovely. I wasn't only intimidated, I was jealous. Which is a confusing feeling as someone who is attracted to multiple genders. I couldn't decide if I was jealous of her fucking him or of him fucking her. Mostly I just wanted to be in the middle. I solemnly swore (to myself) to stay the fuck out of it and let them sort it out. Which they did. A few times.

I hope you'll forgive the uncharacteristic rambling -- it feels like there's too much to tell. I guess, what I'm hoping to impart to you all is that we're trying something new. And we're finding, as many of you have already found, that by sharing your sexuality with other people, you find yourself experiencing a remarkable closeness with your primary partner. We've discovered that exchanging perverted text messages with other people makes us both thirstier for each other than ever. I've discovered that I have a genuine fetish for being jerk-off fodder. Rye, on the other hand, has brought up the possibility that he may be a genuine sapiosexual -- something that really freaked him the fuck out initially.

More than anything, this period in history feels like an important turning point for the sluttiest of us. It feels like an opportunity to stand up for the sanctity of slutdom. To be proud of human sexuality for the kindness, generosity and happiness it can provide. Now, more than ever, we have to embrace the idea that sex is a necessary form of self expression and give in to the fact that we can and should love our friends.

We didn't intend to make a "swingers" joke by making a new video in a sex swing, but fuck, I guess that's what we've gone and done. We think it might be one of the hottest ones we've ever made, with lots more of our faces and bodies (because we're our own bosses now and fuck it). We hope it gets you wet.

Thanks for going along on this weird journey with us, guys. We wouldn't want to do it without you.

XOXO -- Violet