2.28.2013

If You're Calling It Fingerbanging, Something Is WRONG.

Leave it to Vice. Sometimes we forget how spot-on their advice can be, how biting their wit can be and how utterly correct they are about certain repeated pitfalls of human sexuality -- i.e, "don't slap the bean."

Ladies, when getting taken care of via finger by your partners, we know there are certain things you're dying to cry out. But sometimes we don't. Shouting, "fucking stop doing that, it's terrible!" in the act doesn't appeal to anyone, especially considering how sensitive our collective sexual egos can be.



Vice solved this problem. Maybe the next day, send them an email saying, "Ha ha ha! Oh Vice! You get us!" and just include this link: "Dudes: Avoid These Common Fingerbanging Mistakes."

Our favorite one:
TAKE HEED! When a girl shows you what to do, it’s because she likes it, and more likely than not because she thought what you were doing before was fucking shit. Now—and this part is important—when the girl stops showing you what to do so she can lay back and relax while she gets that good finger wiggles, DO NOT IMMEDIATELY REVERT TO THAT SHIT THING YOU WERE DOING BEFORE. YOU ARE NOT RIGHT. YOU ARE NEVER RIGHT.
Go check out the whole list on Vice!

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