My fiancé and I have a great relationship but whenever we go 3-4 days without sex I pretty much shut down and take on a sour attitude. She's busy a lot so I don't think more sex is the answer. Any thoughts?

Whoa now! 3-4 days and you're going sour? Allow me to point you to the third question on this week's "Savage Love." Go. Read. Now.


I can understand getting upset after longer periods of time, as I was in a marriage where I got a handjob/blowjob/sex once a month. And that was IT. Try that and then talk to me about being sour.

3-4 days between sex is healthy. Break that shit down and you're getting fucked just over 91 days a year! And that doesn't account for those times it's more frequent than every 4 days.

And furthermore, and I hope you already know this, but sex isn't the only part of a well rounded experience. Masturbation isn't just for the single among us. Work that shit out.

Allow Rye to show you how it's done.
Put on some of your favorite porn, rub a couple out when you're feeling the need and don't put all your reliance on your partner for satisfaction. Then, with a few loads less in your balls, perhaps it'll chill your sour attitude and maybe, just maybe, you'll see an uptick in the sex department. After all, no one wants to fuck a dude with a sour attitude!


  1. In my unscientific research I have found that I too get nasty after a few days without sex. I do masturbate daily and that wasn't the answer.

    The conclusion that I came to, and bear with me while I get there, is that when I was in a sexless marriage I was working out a lot to make up for the lack of mental stimulation and sexual attention. When I would go a few days without working out I would get nasty.

    Now that I am in a sex-full relationship I think it is the physical workout of sex, or lack of, after a few days that gets me nasty.

    My advise to the petitioner is to go for a walk for 30-45 minutes. That has been working for me ever since I got a treadmill with the cooler northeast weather that is upon us.

  2. This lends to the fact that the male species is a selfish bunch. I have never heard a woman say there attitude is dictated by frequency of sex. Hate to generalize but all relationships go thru sexual ruts or slow periods. Rye is correct, nothing wrong w self satisfaction... heck ask your woman to lay there naked so you can touch her while masterbating.. not same as sex but still intimate.

  3. Unknown - A very fine point indeed. Didn't really think of that, but yes, the "workout high" probably factors in somewhat.

    Chris - Absolutely. If it was 2 weeks, sure...but 3-4 days is pretty crazy, especially when both people are quite busy. Learn to love those jerk-off sessions as much as you did when you were single. And shit, do it in front of her sometimes. V loves watching. Plus, it's a turn-on, so just because I start doesn't mean I finish. She takes that shit over and takes what she needs.


  4. Chris, sex definitely has an impact on my attitude. Or maybe I should say orgasms? A few days without and I am a jangly, cranky mess of nerves. Occasionally full-on bitchy. So, it goes both ways. But never do I get peeved at D for my condition.

    And D and I totally second the pleasure-yourself-in-front-of-her solution. I can't remember the last time that didn't lead to something more. In fact, boy do I remember the last time!

  5. Right. After all, it's our body, so it's up to us to make sure our needs are met. If your partner wants in, even better. But I'll second Liza, I can't recall a time when starting in front of V hasn't ended up going places MUCH better than simple masturbation.