25 Things About Rye's Sexuality.

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I've been spending much time perusing "25 Things About My Sexuality" lately. I figured I enjoy reading so much, why not write one? Which is exactly what I did.

1. I'm a 28-year-old heterosexual married male.

2. I've slept with two women. And married both of them. While I would laugh at other cases where this is true, I feel like my situation is enviable and wouldn't change a thing about how I got here.

3. The sex life I had with my ex-wife was largely masturbatory by the end. Sex was one of the largest obstacles in the relationship. What started out as exciting explorations (we were each other's first) ended with me begging for it once a month.

4. I met my ex when I was still in high school. She was my first girlfriend. Before I fucked her for the first time, I had only a few sexual experiences. None of them were what you would call "good."

5. During a family trip to Mexico when I was 18, I got drunk for the first time in front of my parents and returned to the hotel and its weekly disco night. Being properly inebriated, I jumped on the dance floor and met a girl around my age. We soon left the dance floor and found some lounge chairs on the empty, dark beach. We made out for hours and I worked up the courage to finger her. Not really knowing what I was doing, and being drunk in the dark, I merely slid one finger in and out repeatedly with little direction. She eventually got less and less wet and never orgasmed. Finally, she told me she was leaving that morning and ran off. I was relieved. Somehow, throughout all that, I had no thought to ever touch her clit.

6. Of course, at the time, I knew full well what the clit was because I used to masturbate to my mom and sister's women's magazines that described how to orgasm and "please your man." I probably have these magazines to thank for my expertise at eating pussy. And likely, my obsession with it.

7. Eating pussy is my favorite sex act, hands down. If given the choice between giving or getting head for the rest of my life, I'd choose giving every time. Don't get me wrong, I love a good cocksucking (and my wife is a reigning champion), but having my face covered in pussy juice and watching my partner squirm, wriggle and ultimately have a rollicking orgasm, is far superior to any other act.

8. The first time my wife gave me head, I was still on antidepressants from my divorce, which caused it to take quite some time. But she refused to give up. When I finally came, she swallowed me whole, slurped it all down, then flung her head up, flipped her hair back and raised both fists victoriously. I've masturbated to this memory more than once.

9. My ex, on the other hand, only swallowed my cum a few times. She would mostly spit. Or make me finish on myself. By the time the relationship wound down, she wouldn't even give me head anymore, blaming a gap in her teeth, which caused discomfort.

10. Sex with my ex was never what I could call "great". We certainly experimented a bit; I brought some toys into the bedroom, she gave me road head once, we fucked in a room full of sleeping people. But far more was off the table than on. The only time I ever came on her (stomach no less), she cried. After fingering her asshole a few times, she decided all anal was off limits. Which was a problem for me.

11. The problem being my total obsession with ass. My wife, who has been quite experienced sexually (many men, women, threesomes), was saving her ass for marriage. However, she knew how badly I wanted to fuck her ass and hat my previous situation was like. So a few months before our wedding, while enjoying a night at home, I asked if I could slip the tip in. She caved, and before we knew it, she was pulling me into her, filling her with my hard cock and letting me unload into her tight, virgin hole. We followed that up a few more times, but strangely enough, have not had anal since we've been married. To be fair, it's only been a few months.

12. While I knew how obsessed I was with women's asses before I started dating my wife, I had no idea how much I liked my own ass being penetrated. It started with a rim job (she's fucked girls and it shows with her rimming abilities) that is in my top five sexual experiences to date and it's only gotten far more involved since then. We now keep, among many dildoes, vibrators and ropes, several butt plugs and a prostate vibrator for my own pleasure. I'm waiting impatiently for the day that my wife comes home with a strap-on and fucks my ass.

13. In high school, I had incredibly bad acne and was going through growth spurts through most of the four years. The combination of the two crippled my confidence and landed me in a dry spell with women for pretty much all of high school.

14. My first kiss was at 17. Toward the end of a party where most of us had been drinking, a deal was made during a drinking game that a few of the girls from our class would line up at the door and make out with the guys as they left. I made out with three girls in a row that night. I feel as though this isn't a typical first kiss story.

15. Later that same year I snuck off to a bedroom during a party with an incredibly hot Russian exchange student. We made out for a while and she blew me. It was awful. She used her teeth the entire time and while I tried to pretend like I was enjoying it, I had to make her stop and watch me finish myself off. At least she swallowed.

16. Though my ex lost interest in fucking me at a very early stage in our relationship, that didn't stop her from cheating on me at least three times. I forgave her each time, except for the last, because I found texts between she and her boss that largely made fun of me. Those texts were the final nail.

17. My wife and I have a very open and honest relationship. We've told each other about every aspect of our past sexual encounters (though she has far more to tell than I). And many of hers turn me on. I love picturing her with other men and women, wondering how she would act with them. I'm not sure I could ever act on a threesome or share her with someone else, but we've certainly talked about it.

18. I know from conversations with my wife that many women (and men) in college wanted to fuck me. I never had any clue and have a terrible sense of who is interested in me, even to this day. While in college I was acne ridden with braces, I've grown into what I'm told is a pretty attractive man. Though inside, I'm still the awkward kid with acne. Which, looking back, is what kept me in a dead relationship for so long.

19. I met my wife in college, she was engaged and I was newly married. I had no idea how badly she wanted to fuck me the entire time (friends have attested many times over). However, I'm faithful and never would have thought twice about it. We remained very good friends throughout college, sharing many classes together, always sitting next to one another and working with each other on several projects. After I graduated, we lost touch for several months, during which time my marriage (and her long-term relationship) completely crumbled. I realized that she was the one I wanted to be with when I was in marriage counseling with my ex and was asked to describe my ideal partner. 

20. Before my wife and I started hooking up, she emphatically told me that I could and should go get all my wanton fucking taken care of, and that she would happily wait for me as I enjoyed some strange pussy. Clearly, I never took her up on this. After all, a woman that would even say such a thing is a keeper.

21. We have a very active sex life. I'm excited by all of the things we've yet to try with each other, but have already discussed in detail. It's thrilling to know you're on the same page sexually and that eventually, you're going to do every kinky thing you can dream of with each other, just not yet. The anticipation sometimes kills me, but as we check items off our list, they're all so much better than I could have ever imagined.

22. The biggest issue I have in the bedroom is my wife's inability to squirt. My ex was able to (with a vibrator only), so it kills me to know someone with such a low sex drive could achieve such a sexy feat while my wife, who can have orgasms anally, vaginally, from her clitoris and g-spot, plus do so many times in a row, is unable to gush on me. I've tried a number of techniques, but none of them have worked. I refuse to stop trying, though I'm getting far less obsessive over it and am trying to simply enjoy the "practice."

23. My wife shows some pretty serious signs of being submissive. She loves getting spanked, tied up, fucked hard and come-on any- and everywhere. However, she's also domineering, a biter and likes to tease. We go through phases with one another where we're each in control. I love both scenarios equally and really hope we continue exploring this area. I feel like we've only just scratched the surface.

24. I want to fuck my wife on a beach, in the water, in a car, on an airplane, on a boat, on a balcony, in a stairwell, finger her in a movie theatre, pin her against a wall in a bar bathroom and generally be inside her anywhere we go. But public sex is more or less unexplored territory for us. Except, on the drive to our wedding, my wife brought along a few sex toys. We played a game where she had to get herself off three times in less than 20 miles. She did so handily.

25. I feel like everyone should have a sex life like I do with my wife. Open, honest, exploratory and fun. But I know there are plenty of people out there that don't. And I was one of them.