Ten Things.

You should definitely read this piece, 10 Things They Should Have Taught Us In Sex Ed. That is all.

Oh, and while you're at it, sign up for this. TRUST.

New Things.

New things.

Jobs.
Apartments.
Schedules.
Projects.
Etc.

This is basically just an acknowledgement that we've been a bit inconsistent lately. And if not an apology, at least a "yeah, we know..." to all of our lovely readers and friends.

We'll be back, don't you worry.

The Drawer.

After Penelope wrote in with her question about the need for sex toy cleaner, several of you asked to see how we store our INSANE amount of sex toys. Today, we show you.

50 Shades of YECHHHH.

So we realize we haven't talked about 50 Shades of Grey on here. At all.

And we promise we probably won't ever again. For the same reason we don't talk about Twilight or Hunger Games or any other poorly written, young adult skewed boredom. And yes, 50 Shades of Grey is young adult fiction to us, despite the graphic and kinda gross sex writing (the first draft was written with the sadsack vampires from that steampile Twilight in place of the leads, for fuck sake). In our brains, it's in the same field, no matter what anyone will ever say to us. Shit is shit.

A quick aside, stop calling it "my sex"!!! It's your fucking cunt. Your aching pussy. Your quivering quim. Just not your "sex". I just vomited on my keyboard.

Anyway, someone also felt like this book was as silly as we do. And those people are geniuses. Because they hired Gilbert Gottfried.

How did it take us so long to find this???*

Did You Misplace Your Rubber Pussy? China Found It.

Did anyone lose their rubber vagina/anus (sorry, I mean, "rare mushroom"). Maybe it's in China...

Guys, this is the most insane thing I think I've ever seen. And I've seen a LOT of insane shit. I can't stop laughing. Someone call for help.

Via Reddit.

Why Does Sin Taste So Good?

Pervert darlings, it's getting hot where we are. Is it the same for you? Just in case, we wanted to introduce you to our favorite new summer treat: The Vice Lolly.

Toy Cleaner, Yes or No?

{Quick foreword. Foreword for a question? Gosh you have demanding readers. I was going to leave this in your Formspring but it wasn't letting me tell the whole story, so I thought I'd email you instead. Hope that's okay.}

Guys, I did it. I bought my Lelo, inspired in great part by all your sex-positive writing. But when the store clerk asked if I was set for lube & toy cleaner I automatically replied "of course", but it wasn't until I left the store that I realized that was halfway towards a blatant lie. I've always washed my toys with soap and water and didn't even know there was such a thing as cleaner designed specifically for vibrators and the like. (Lube, on the other hand...) So, being that this is my first "high end", proper vibrator, I was wondering how you guys clean and store your arsenal?

Cheers,

Penelope

This Video is the Tits.

It's also adorable, catchy and in French. We can't get enough of these cute-ass tits.

Vincha - Les p'tits seins from Vincha / 7titres 7clips on Vimeo.

A Disgusting Old Pervert to Warm All Our Hearts.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

We Are Not Morning People.

Perhaps someday, we'll be the type of people that get up, first thing.

Make coffee.
Eat a good breakfast.
Get shit done.

But not now. Now, we're the people that GET UP early. But then lounge.

Read shit on our iThings.
Stumble for coffee at some point.
Eat the midday breakfast/lunch combo.

And that's okay. Because sometimes, even after motivating to get into the shower, Violet returns to bed and just keeps on keeping on. Checking Reddit and Buzzfeed like the fucking nerds we are.

And nerds we may be, but make that a nerd with a GREAT ass.

Droppin' SCIENCE.

Yeah, that's right. Because every now and then, you should watch some really smart people talk about how penises work and give you some facts you didn't know about orgasms. TED Talks, y'all!

My Name is Rye and I Have Body Issues.

Yes, that's right. An admission must be made:

I've got body issues.

I put naked photos of myself online, videos of us fucking, even a video of me jerking off. And yet...

Body. Issues.

Now, I don't want this to come off as a whiny, woe is me thing. Or some form of seeking approval or drawing a compliment. This isn't about that. I've been blessed with a pretty great metabolism and based on what you may have seen of me, you might think "fuck that dude, he's just being a whiny asshole, he's lucky, blah blah." And that might be the case to someone reading this. And that's okay. Sure, I do have a pretty great metabolism and am lucky and on and on. BUT, this is just my way of airing some shit that I've dealt with for quite some time. Regardless of whatever the perception of me might be, what's going on in my brain is something different. And something I think I might finally be defeating.

And with that out of the way, let's dive right into the deep:

You Question. We Answer.

We had a slew of questions come in the past few weeks, and here they are, all bundled together in a nice little package.

V+R, Long time follower, first time asker. I am headed out to the woods for a summer job and will be without my partner and the internet for months! But there will be electricity and therefore, porn! Other than Camille Crimson, recommendations?

Whoa! What a difficult blow you've been served! Unless, of course, you WANT to go to the woods for the summer with no partner or internet. In which case, right on! Luckily, Camille's DVD is out very soon (anyone know if it's been released officially yet?). We're also big fans of Erika Lust and the stuff being produced at Blue Artichoke. Take a look into both of those and see if anything whets your appetite.

And when you return, who knows, you might have some new treats from yours truly...

Summer is Here.

There are summer days, where you're returning from the beach.
The night is warm, so you walk home for the final stretch.
The city is mostly gone. Off to vacation homes. Or visiting family.
You sneak glances.
Stolen moments.

Summer is here.

Lather Up!

Remember what we said about outdoor showers? Yeah, we stand by that shit.

Lather up, let's do this!