I've got body issues.
I put naked photos of myself online, videos of us fucking, even a video of me jerking off. And yet...
Now, I don't want this to come off as a whiny, woe is me thing. Or some form of seeking approval or drawing a compliment. This isn't about that. I've been blessed with a pretty great metabolism and based on what you may have seen of me, you might think "fuck that dude, he's just being a whiny asshole, he's lucky, blah blah." And that might be the case to someone reading this. And that's okay. Sure, I do have a pretty great metabolism and am lucky and on and on. BUT, this is just my way of airing some shit that I've dealt with for quite some time. Regardless of whatever the perception of me might be, what's going on in my brain is something different. And something I think I might finally be defeating.
And with that out of the way, let's dive right into the deep:
I've always been a skinny kid. Like, woefully skinny. Can't-put-on-any-weight-ever-and-make-people-think-that-I-have-an-eating-disorder skinny.
Then two things happened.
1. I started dating Violet. She is a REALLY good cook.
2. I got injured last year. Really badly injured. Couldn't really move for a few months injured.
So, needless to say, weight has been put on.
I don't want to get into boring details about the injury or related activities because they're either boring, sad or both. It happened, it was shitty, we're moving on.
Since recovering, I've been able to add a gym routine to my life. Which I hate. But will keep up, because my goal is to be toned. I've lost a little of that weight. I plan to lose more. And hopefully there will be some form of abs and pecs that develop over time. Nothing crazy muscular. Just toned.
According to Violet (you'll have to trust her, seeing as you've never glimpsed my face), I'm a very attractive guy. I can see that more and more now. But before getting with Violet, this idea NEVER occurred to me.
My teen years were spent getting rejected while battling with some seriously nasty acne. By the time I finally got to put my dick in someone, I ended up marrying her.
Maybe it was partly because I thought no one else would want me.
Maybe it was youth.
A severe lack of self esteem.
Wrap it all in a package and you've got a guy that didn't think much of himself.
Now take that package and tell its young wife to never have sex with him.
And when she did, once a month if lucky, make sure she let you know that she doesn't enjoy it.
Let marinate for several years.
Luckily, that well marinated package of depression and self esteem issues decides he needs to move along. Fortunately for Violet, he hadn't been spoiled yet by the years of shitty relations.
And so the self esteem has only risen from there.
Violet objectifies me on the daily, always telling me how much she likes any combination of my parts.
And it's helped. Considerably.
But I'm not naive. I still know that I'm borderline hipster with a beer gut. Which, if I am (and if you are), that's cool. I love beer, after all. And I'm kind of a hipster. But for my health, and for my self esteem, I know I can't allow myself to put that weight back on.
So when we got a comment that the recent post "Rye Cleans Up" calling us out on only showing my cock and some legs, I felt it was time to come clean.
We take LOTS of photos of both of us. We then go through and select those that we enjoy. That we feel good about. That get us hot again. Violet objects FAR less than I do. But most of mine end up in the trash. I think I have a pretty nice looking cock. I definitely lucked out in that department. So it's often on display. But my other parts, I always grimace at.
These are me.
These are flaccid cock.
Plenty of stomach.
And a fair amount of ass.
So you could say that I'm working on getting over my issues. I feel good about myself. I take my shirt off at the beach and don't think TOO much about it. Not like I used to.
The act of working out, even if I'm not where I want to be, has helped me considerably.
As have your comments.
And Violet's unrelenting flattery.
So I'm getting there. Do I think I have a great body?
Do I think that some of you enjoy it, so it's only fair that we share my body the way we do Violet's?
So here you are.
They're yours to have.
I hope you enjoy them.
And thanks for making me feel good.