Privileges.

R: There are dudes out there, dudes we all know and have in our lives. And they talk about sex as a "privilege" from their significant other. If they do something bad, fail to do a chore, or otherwise upset their significant other, those privileges can be revoked.

Your kindly editor, Rye.

Here's why this idea is SO beyond fucked:

Women LOVE to fuck.

I know media in all forms tells you otherwise, but it's simply not true. Women have sex drives. Their pussies get wet when they get turned on. And they like coming just as much as you do. Maybe that drive isn't as strong as yours, maybe it's stronger.

If you're the kind of significant other that holds your sexuality as a privilege that only turns on when your man is "behaving" as you want them to, you suck.

If you're the kind of guy that thinks the idea of you having to behave to get your privileges is solid and reasonable, even cute, you suck.

Can we all just grow up a little? Admit that we like getting fucked and stuffed. Relationships are complicated and can be difficult to navigate. Let's not go making them worse by treating your pussy like a cookie or an excuse to get your man to act like a civilized human being or watch less football in order to get a slice.

Be good to each other because you fucking love each other, right? Then have sex as much or as little as you want. And jerk off a lot too. Let's just stop adding weird and unnecessary roles to daily life that feed into our sex lives. Especially when those roles so closely resemble those of the teacher/student and just further speak to this sort of awful American ideal espoused in shitty sitcoms.

Unless it's some sort of dom/sub thing. Then fucking get to it.

Violet, thoughts?

Your lovely co-editor, Violet.

V: Oooh, I just love it when he gets all riled up, don't you? What Rye is really trying to get at with this rant is something so core to what we here at Uncommon Appetites really care about. And that is a really simple thing that we often forget about: mutual respect.

I don't mean to get all scientific on you here, but let's be serious about something for a moment: sex is ridiculous. For some reason, rubbing our grunting, sweaty bodies against each other for enough time in just the right way produces an explosion of nerve sensations and endorphins that feels so good people have gone crazy for it since the beginning of time. Some people write blogs about it, others get addicted to it, we're talking about powerful stuff here.

What I would like, and it seems like this is what Rye is getting at, is just for us all to realize that we have the same components, biologically, and have the same ability to give pleasure to ourselves and bring it to others. So, who gives a shit whether you are male or female? If we all just did our best to be responsible for our partners pleasure, happiness and safety, the world would be a way fucking better place.

To those of you dudes who take pleasure in being a "three pump chump" or whatever, you've got a long road ahead of you. Because as your wife/girlfriend/friend-with-benefits' sex drive evolves, as women's tend to do later in life, she's going to leave you in the dust and start fucking someone who knows where her clit is. Do yourself a favor and start thinking about why it's so easy for her to "revoke" your privileges when you behave badly: because you're probably not really doing it for her when she lets you into her vagina and she's jerking herself off after either way.

Truth bombs. I know.