V, a question for the ladies: Got any tips for keeping a devourable v-zone?

Why yes, of course. Beyond the obvious (please be clean, groom how you see fit), and I know this sounds ridiculous: pineapple. Lots and lots of pineapple.

I'm not completely sure what the chemical reason behind this is, probably lots of sugars and vitamins stored up in the sex organs of plants that you're eating (guys, that's what fruit is, I'm not making this up), make your organs tasty as well.

This also applies to fresh strawberries. When I say fresh I mean summertime, tiny little bites of juicy freshness, not the gargantuan, hardened old bitches you can buy in the grocery store in February. Once, after bingeing on strawberries for the entirety of a summer, I gave Rye a blowjob and when he came it tasted like CANDY. Not like, oh, it was so sweet, it could have been candy. IT TASTED LIKE REAL LIFE CANDY.

Again, not a chemist, but probably putting good things in makes good things come out? I hope you have the same results. Please report back.

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