SOMETHING IS HAPPENING THAT YOU GUYS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT. He's right here in the bath and his name is Dale Cooper.
If you are not acquainted with this man, take a deep breath in because you're about to get real acquainted with his forearms, thighs, cheeky smile, love for Radiohead and expert ability to make us giggle and then need to fuck immediately.
We found Dale Cooper via a very flattering shout out in Paper Magazine's recent round-up of hipster porn stars. We'll be honest with you, hipster is exactly the appropriate word to describe this man's style. You know what other words apply? Hot, different, interesting, FOREARMS, refreshing, sweet, dirty, playful, FOREARMS.
Are you starting to get the idea? Watch this video. Then we can talk more. Once you've wiped the drool off your collective faces.
Is it a little bit weird that he gives a rubber ducky a facial? Sure. We're not big on judgements around here though, and also FOREARMS.
Look, we understand this conundrum pretty intimately, but if shooting gorgeous video, paying attention to unusual lines of incredible bodies, setting your video to a soundtrack of something beside fake moans and groans, and actually appearing to be satisfying your desire for pleasure define "hipster porn," then we fucking love hipster porn. And we fucking love Dale Cooper.
Hello, our names are Violet and Rye and we have a crush on a gay porn star. FOREARMS.