Premature Maturity.

So lately, I've had a bit of an issue.

I don't want to call it premature anything, but I also don't want to color it as if it were anything different.

For the past few months, for whatever reason, I've fallen into this strange trap. The first part of this trap involves me masturbating infrequently. As a healthy younger dude (now being a healthy slightly older dude), it was not unusual for me to go for it once a day, whether or not I was also getting a bit of Violet that day (usually the case).

But now? Once a week? Maybe a touch more, but not by much.

This is fine, of course. We all have sexual peaks and valleys, and maybe this is just a valley. However, I'm still thinking about sex as much as I did when my brain was on once a day territory. About the things I want to do to Violet, about the things we've recently done, about all the sexy shit that happens on Twitter/Tumblr/blogs.

As you can imagine, the balls get a little heavy, so to speak.

So now I haven't jerked off all week, and Violet and I get a little something going.

My thing, always has been, is to coax as many orgasms out of her as possible while keeping my cock away from her, no matter how hard she begs for it. And she REALLY starts to beg for it.

I'll eat her pussy until she bucks on my face, tugging my hair and working me into her for the big finish.

She wants cock now.
Not yet.

I pull out a toy.
Insert fingers.
Work her until she bursts again.

COCK.
NO.
NOW.
NO.

Maybe the Hitachi comes out. My greedy tongue moves to her ass, rimming her as she moans deeply into the pillow. She's surprised how much she loves this. Every time, forgetting just how much, but it comes back to her. OH GOD. AGAIN.

GIMME THAT FUCKING COCK.

How can I not give in now?
But guess what happens?

She's come three, maybe four, sometimes five times by now. Do you think she wants me to slide in and go slowly? Fuck no she doesn't!

She's absolutely dripping, so I'm welcomed right in, no working it slowly. She wants it hard. Her G-spot is riled, engorged, ready for and requiring a non-gentle touch. Far too sensitive for that shit now.

And then after 30 seconds? Maybe two minutes, at most. My overwhelmed cock gives in, unleashing all that's pent up inside it. And there's a lot pent up.

It's good for me. A huge release always feels great. She's tired and could take another orgasm, but doesn't NEED one. We cuddle and talk, or maybe nap for a few, then eat something. It's over for today and we're both satisfied. But something in me isn't.

The anxiety is the real problem. I need to be able to really give it the way we used to have it. It's been nagging me, affecting me more than I'll admit, and I feel shitty about coming so quickly every time we fuck lately.

Her current toy of choice, the Form 3.

Since we practice what we preach (COMMUNICATE, DUDES), one night last week, we sat down and talked about it. There were many other sexual things discussed, some desires we have, some things we want to explore, but we also touched on my concerns.

Violet, as usual, was totally understanding and open to the conversation. And though she assured me that she didn't have an issue with what was going on, that if I wanted to change it, I needed to be less precious about my orgasms.

"You just need to learn to blow that first load and then recharge for a second round."

And she was totally right. Of course she was.

Over the course of several months, I'd allowed my female orgasm fetish take over. Growing up, videos of women coming were my porn of choice. Sybian riding. Only faces. Pussy eating. Squirting. Anything I could find that let me watch and listen to a woman coming and I was ALL OVER IT.

In a lot of ways, I enjoy watching and making Violet come more than I enjoy coming myself. Which she thinks is pretty fucking awesome. Totally unreal, but awesome nonetheless. And while yes, it's great that I make her come four or five times before fucking her, she also wants to be fucked. Having me come a minute into the proceedings while trying to give her one more isn't exactly what either of us are looking for.

"So, what this means, then, is that you'll have to practice coming and reloading. But it's a really fun kind of practice."

So one night this weekend, we decided to practice. Before making Violet even come once (maybe there was some pussy eating), we got to it. I, without the anxiety I'd been having, came quicker than I would have liked. She had almost gotten there and it turned me on and that was that. However, instead of being defeated, we laid back together, made out a little and she reached over for her current favorite toy.

Seconds after watching her work the toy over her clit, I started getting turned on (obviously). Within a minute, I was back inside her. She pulled me close while keeping the toy on her clit. I could feel the vibrations deep inside her cunt and I was back to full attention.

For the first time in a long time, we really fucked. We started spooning, and then she told me to turn her onto her stomach. She kept the toy going as I crouched over her, gripping her full, sexy ass to gain momentum.

Harder.
She begged for it.
She loved it.
I loved it.

Noises came out of her I haven't heard in forever.
Animalistic noises.
Noises she couldn't keep in, even if she tried.

And then she was coming. Hard. Her pussy contracted, spasming on my more than thrilled cock. Which followed suit, useless against her orgasm, as it often is.

"Well, you were right."

"I told you."