Violet's Lady Porn Day!

Hey y'all! It's fucking Lady Porn Day!

 

Sorry. I got a little excited. Here's the deal - this should not be a day. I think we all understand and can agree to that. But, the fact remains that it is. The fact remains that not everyone gets a man like Rye who wants you to indulge and detail every last one of your dark, filthy, or downright embarrassingly warm and fuzzy fantasies all over his warm, hard body. But, as you can all attest, I did. I really, really did. And I'm glad to be able to share the wealth with you all.

What I do like about this day that should not have to be a day is that it makes women - who maybe otherwise wouldn't - pipe up and talk about what makes them wet. And I think that more lady wetness is something we're all in favor of.

So, in the spirit of lady porn day, here are some things that have to do with my lady boners:


1. My Very First Sex Toy - The Osaki Twister

With Rye and my ever-expanding collection of toys, this bad boy has long since been relegated to the recycling bin, but you never forget your first, do you? Purchased for me by two loving, benevolent friends, with the hope of finally convincing me to break up with a terrible boyfriend who was great in bed. Needless to say, this little Eskimo (yes, it is seriously shaped like an Eskimo and a beaver) long outlasted said terrible boyfriend and provided hundreds more orgasms.

2. My Current Favorite - The Babeland Nubby G

Rye chuckles every time he leaves town and asks what I took care of myself with. Nine times out of ten lately, this diamond in the rough has been it. I know it doesn't look like much. But, there is something about the way this thing curves, yields and warms to my touch that really does it for me. Not to mention the fact that it hums like a jet engine.

3. Bend Me Over

This is where I find 60% of my favorite photos to rub one out to and also to share with you guys. Sarah does an amazing job of curating photos of men, women and furniture in various drool-worthy combinations. On top of this, she also contributes to the fucking hilarious Guys We Shouldn't Be Attracted To and I'm pretty certain also works a real job. Basically, impressive.

The reason that Sarah and those of her ilk own my heart is twofold: 1) they have really great taste in sexy photos that contain a minimum of french-tipped nail treatments and schoolgirl outfits, and 2) she's fucking funny. This is something that I take pretty seriously. One of the biggest problems I have with the lady porn conversation is that sometimes when we feel "empowered by our sexuality" or whatever, we start to take it very seriously and forget that sometimes rubbing your lubed up body parts over someone else's until you explode can require a sense of humor.

So please, go cum and giggle and make a dirty joke. You'll feel so much better afterward.