5.11.2011

Ten Rules for Eating Pussy.

The other day on Twitter, the lovely and beautiful Camille Crimson was asked about starting "The Art of Cunnilingus" (As a separate note, why does that come up as a misspelling? Female bias, motherfuckers!), to which she responded thusly.

It's a good sign if she does this.
This kicked off a slew of Tweets between us, Camille and the delicious sex blogger Daisy Danger. About the rules of pussy eating. Which got me to thinking, why not put together a top ten list?
The first two are from Daisy, who you should follow and read already.

1. Don't trace the alphabet, that never works!
2. That isn't it. It's to the left. No, your other left. Oh!
3. When I say don't stop, it means don't fucking stop!
4. Or slow down!
5. Or speed up!
6. If she asks for a change-up, make the change, don't fucking cry about it.
7. No matter what you may hear, it's not a "love button", so stop pushing it.
8. Unless you're a dog, lapping is inappropriate.
9. You're not eating a burrito, focus!
10. That's my asshole, but keep trying.

Do you have more? Add them in the comments! These rules must be learned.

17 comments:

  1. 1) When I move your head dont fight it. just MOVE IT!
    2)Get me to the edge twice and stop if you like, more than that when I kick your head, dont ask me why!

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  2. Love it! And I've definitely brought V to the edge WAY more than two times. No kicks to the head yet, I suppose we all have edge limits...

    -Rye

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  3. Love it, great list, great pic too.

    (Now I just need to go practice!)

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  4. Please, for the love of all that is holy, swallow some of that saliva once in a while. Sheesh!

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  5. 1) Even if I ask you to stop, don't do it! please continue
    2) Deny my orgasm, make my pleasure last

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  6. @Goodwill - It makes perfect. Or at least makes a girl come!

    @10years - Exactly! It's not a swamp!

    @Vadia - Two VERY fine points from you. Though your second point conflicts with @NippleChains. I suppose you're both right.

    -Rye

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  7. Great list.

    Fingers are a plus too though. Get the fingers in on the job.

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  8. Absolutely right on the fingers! We had them on our original 10, but weren't sure how universal that was. Give me two!

    -Violet

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  9. I disagree about the 'That's my asshole, but keep trying' rule... Nothing like giving a nice, slow, luxurious lick from her asshole up to her clit, flicking my tongue against her clit as I take my tongue away! Nice little move ;)

    Is a shameless plug ok? I've written a post here on how much I love going down on girls and I'd love to have all your feedback, especially Violet and Daisy's!

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    Replies
    1. Ooh, how did we ever miss this comment! Love your piece, and yes, we totally agree about loving rimjobs, as time has probably told you here!

      -Rye

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    2. My name.is trey and trey and I nevet went. Down on A girl cuz I dont kno how I want it to be amazin, wend I do, for can u give me some pointers

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  10. This has to be shared. THE BEST GUIDE TO EATING PUSSY EVER. Hands down. (Or rather, tongues down. :)) http://www.viceland.com/nl/v1n1b/htdocs/eating_pussy.php

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    Replies
    1. LOVE. IT. SO fucking funny, spot on and amazing. Thanks so much for sharing, Cindy!

      -Rye

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  11. Great list of rule. One thing I know will enhance her experience is to shave, your wet face is the extension of your tongue. And your smooth skin will make her twitch.YUMMY!!! :P
    BluTAngo
    www.HerPrivatePleasure.Com

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    Replies
    1. Indeed! Though I'm more of a shave twice a week guy, I can attest that Violet LOVES it when I do.

      -Rye

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  12. 11. If you don't come up looking like you were just bobbing for glazed donuts with your hands behind your back, or if all you have to do when you're done is touch up your lip gloss, you've done it wrong.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, darling! Stunning addition. You have to get in there!

      - Violet.

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