There's Got to Be One.

As you, Rye and I all know, I'm pretty much always down to come. One of the great things about this blog is that it gives he and I new ways to make me do it, even beyond what our own imaginations can come up with. We've got a pretty extensive sex toy collection, but as I get pickier and pickier about quality, materials and effectiveness, some of the old ones have started to get weeded out. This is why, when the lovely people at Eden Fantasys Sex Toys offered Rye and I a toy to review, I was hoping to replace my sad, old, not-particularly-advanced Rabbit-Style vibe. (EF's collection is broad, to say the least, just in case you're also in the market.) I've rarely met a sex toy I didn't like, so I was raring to go as soon as it arrived.

Oh, hello, little one.

First, the good news:

The Marvel is made out of super soft polymer, which is not as advanced as pure silicone, but definitely a step up from the dinosaur I'd been using for years. This makes it flexible to your curves and soft to the touch. There's one button, which means not a lot to fuss around with when things get serious. And, I think best of all, there's a vibrating motor in both the clit stimulator and the shaft. Why don't more toys have this? I love it.

Okay. Sorry to say, there is some bad news:

First, the noise. This thing is loud. Like, lawnmower loud. Which is fine for me, a married adult woman who is really free to jerk off whenever and wherever she pleases, but for those poor souls who are shacked up with roommates, beware. It will sound like you are sanding a dining room table.

Second, the length. I'll cop to having had this issue before with toys that other people swear by. I am fairly petite all-around and this toy requires about two inches too many of straight up insertion before that  clit rocket makes contact. For me, this was a little uncomfortable.

Third, the bend. For some reason, where other vibes curve up at the end to curl around your g-spot, this one curves back and down towards your back. I don't know, maybe this works for someone? Unfortunately, for me, this angle combined with the length really pushing my limits amounted to this toy being a little painful and really not working for me. I guess somewhere down the line, I had to run into a sex toy that just didn't work for me.

Now, maybe you're reading this thinking, "Vibrators are always too short for me!" If that is the case, the price on this thing is pretty right for an experiment. Otherwise, check out their huge selection of other vibes. I'd love to hear what works for you!

Happy fucking, ladies and gentlemen.