Ok, so we know this is biting the style of some other bloggers, namely Liza over at Always Each Other, but having done Formspring for a LONG time, this actually seems like a pretty good way to respond, combining into one column like this. This likely won't remain a "thing", as you probably know by now that we're not big on the schedule thing, but it was certainly fun for today. Questions in bold, responses are not in bold, imagine that!
Thanks to all of you that asked us questions, if you've got one, hit us up!
Oh, right. YOU'RE NOT.
Read Francis Lam's take on this most delicious of things to shove into your face.
I know we say it a lot, but it's true. You need to be able to communicate with your partner. You're not coming? He's probably noticed. And for some reason is also not communicating to you about it. Maybe he's writing to someone asking about why his long-distance girlfriend isn't comfortable when they meet up to the point that she's not coming as we speak?!?
So yeah, assuming that you're capable of orgasms typically, the fact that you can't come when you're with him likely relates back to that issue of being comfortable. When you're comfortable with someone, it's DEFINITELY easier to come.
So get comfortable, by communicating!
The good news is that since you spend a lot of time apart, you've got PLENTY of time to discuss this. So during your next Skype sex session, after you've come (you do have Skype sex, right? If this was around when V and I had our respective long-distance relationships, it would have been a fucking game changer!), cyber-cuddle and chat about it.
Coming from a sexless marriage into a relationship with Violet, I was pretty out of touch with the dirty talk game myself. But when, during our third or fourth encounter, I was taking a little while to get there, Violet exclaimed, "fuck my pussy like you own it!" BOOM. SECONDS LATER...
The problem with this is that I am a progressive, feminist man. And I don't want to own her pussy. But fuck if it didn't me going in the moment. So that might be part of a larger issue about talking dirty for you, because I definitely feel you. As a couple that doesn't talk dirty every time, it's hard to say what inspires us during the times that we do, but there have certainly been more than one occasion where "tell me you're my whore" came slipping out, greeted only with an enthusiastic "I'm your fucking WHORE!" And then usually an INSTANT orgasm. We tend not to question the implications of calling each other such things, as we never do outside of the sack, and we both know that neither of us has any weird sexist bullshit going on in our roots. That might seem weird, but I guess we all reconcile it how we reconcile it.
If the idea of this repulses you, then perhaps starting with "I love your big cock/tiny vagina", "fill my pussy", "I want to buy land on your cock and build a house in my vagina with a small garden out back" is the way to go.
And a trick to get this ball rolling, WHISPER THAT SHIT. When he pulls you in or you put that head down and focus, give a little "how does my pussy feel?" and see where that takes you. Likely, it'll kick off a chain reaction that will have you shouting "put a small village in my butt!" before you're both shipping off to Planet Climax.