3.16.2012

A Formspring Friday.

Ok, so we know this is biting the style of some other bloggers, namely Liza over at Always Each Other, but having done Formspring for a LONG time, this actually seems like a pretty good way to respond, combining into one column like this. This likely won't remain a "thing", as you probably know by now that we're not big on the schedule thing, but it was certainly fun for today. Questions in bold, responses are not in bold, imagine that!

Thanks to all of you that asked us questions, if you've got one, hit us up!

Hey, so reading through, massive foodies!!! So my Q is, have you got an awesome meal recipe for a hot night in?

That's fucking RAD. So happy you discovered us! This one was really difficult to narrow down, but ultimately, how are you gonna beat Marcella Hazan's buttery tomato sauce???

Oh, right. YOU'RE NOT.

Read Francis Lam's take on this most delicious of things to shove into your face.

I'm in a long distance relationship and we only see each other on weekends and sex is expected. I, as the girl, never feel comfortable or reacquainted with our bodies enough to enjoy sex. I feel pressured to do it, but after a year of dating I've still never orgasmed.

Yeesh, that sounds like a tricky one, eh? It seems like what you're really lacking here (aside from orgasms) is communication.

I know we say it a lot, but it's true. You need to be able to communicate with your partner. You're not coming? He's probably noticed. And for some reason is also not communicating to you about it. Maybe he's writing to someone asking about why his long-distance girlfriend isn't comfortable when they meet up to the point that she's not coming as we speak?!?

So yeah, assuming that you're capable of orgasms typically, the fact that you can't come when you're with him likely relates back to that issue of being comfortable. When you're comfortable with someone, it's DEFINITELY easier to come.

So get comfortable, by communicating!

The good news is that since you spend a lot of time apart, you've got PLENTY of time to discuss this. So during your next Skype sex session, after you've come (you do have Skype sex, right? If this was around when V and I had our respective long-distance relationships, it would have been a fucking game changer!), cyber-cuddle and chat about it.

Alright, empowered feminist, have a GGG partner, everything's wonderful: EXCEPT I can't dirty talk. I just can't. Nothing comes out. It's extremely frustrating for me since I REALLY WANT TO. Any tips on untying my tongue?

Yes, yes, yes! We LOVE all of these things that describe you (and your non-gender specific GGG partner)! But fuck your clean mouth! Assuming you talk during sex ("yeah, that feels good," "you're SO wet," "did you get the milk?"), making the step to dirty talk isn't a whole lot further to travel.

Coming from a sexless marriage into a relationship with Violet, I was pretty out of touch with the dirty talk game myself. But when, during our third or fourth encounter, I was taking a little while to get there, Violet exclaimed, "fuck my pussy like you own it!" BOOM. SECONDS LATER...

The problem with this is that I am a progressive, feminist man. And I don't want to own her pussy. But fuck if it didn't me going in the moment. So that might be part of a larger issue about talking dirty for you, because I definitely feel you. As a couple that doesn't talk dirty every time, it's hard to say what inspires us during the times that we do, but there have certainly been more than one occasion where "tell me you're my whore" came slipping out, greeted only with an enthusiastic "I'm your fucking WHORE!" And then usually an INSTANT orgasm. We tend not to question the implications of calling each other such things, as we never do outside of the sack, and we both know that neither of us has any weird sexist bullshit going on in our roots. That might seem weird, but I guess we all reconcile it how we reconcile it.

If the idea of this repulses you, then perhaps starting with "I love your big cock/tiny vagina", "fill my pussy", "I want to buy land on your cock and build a house in my vagina with a small garden out back" is the way to go.

And a trick to get this ball rolling, WHISPER THAT SHIT. When he pulls you in or you put that head down and focus, give a little "how does my pussy feel?" and see where that takes you. Likely, it'll kick off a chain reaction that will have you shouting "put a small village in my butt!" before you're both shipping off to Planet Climax.

6 comments:

  1. My GF told me she was a feminist before we started dating and that's one of the things I liked about her. She can't do traditional dirty talk either because it's too demeaning to women and she feels like it sets her back. However, we've discovered a little femdom dirty talk goes a long way for both of us. She'll boss me around, tie me up, put me in a male chastity device and even do me with a strap-on sometimes. It gets us both super hot. In fact, that chastity device has been staying on for longer and longer which means a constant sexual high for me and more and better sex when she does decide to take it off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I mean, that's what's so great about sex. Not everything has to work for everyone, and that is totally okay as long as you talk about it! So glad you guys - er - slid into your groove.

      - Violet.

      Delete
  2. On the dirty talk question:
    Do you read any hot blogs? How about reading out some stories that turn you on? Stuff like www.daisydanger.com and www.darkgracie.com is where it's at for me.
    Might help you get used to saying dirty stuff out loud?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent suggestions, J! Thank you for mentioning them.

      - Violet.

      Delete
  3. Thanks for the shout-out! Y'all have given me a lot of love recently :).

    We are dirty talkers like nobody's business. Like send me to the principal and wash my mouth out with soap dirty. It started very early in our relationship, but with more gentler things along the lines of "how does my pussy feel, baby?" Now it starts there and ramps up.

    When it's taking D longer than usual come (which is long already!) I will start telling him filthy things, putting images in his head that definitely help focus his attention.

    And re: using words like whore and slut--we both use them about ourselves and each other. He's my slut just as much as I'm his whore. We're only each others' and only in bed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Liza, typically well-said. You really knocked that last paragraph out of the park. And we take giving credit where credit is due quite seriously. ; )

      - Violet.

      Delete