The Spoils.

Guys, I want to be honest with you about something: being a sex blogger has its perks. The research is quite pleasant, the actual writing of the thing often inspires more research and we have a growing collection of sex toys that frequently get sent to us for review.

Here's a downside I've discovered: it is really easy to get spoiled.

Rabbit vibrators are special, you guys. There's a reason they have become classic, reliable, compulsory additions to any woman's collection. I've said it before, but I'll say it again because it bears repeating: they are orgasm factories. They combine the two things a pussy is most pleased with, love for the clit and full, girthy action inside.

The thing about being spoiled is that it makes you quite picky. I've become hyper-aware (as I think most of us should) of what kind of material I'm putting in my body. Safe, non-porous silicone has become the standard in our collection and it's something I just won't compromise on.

The toy we're talking about today fits this bill. The L'Amour Thumper is made of super-soft silicone that both feels very nice against your skin and is safe for rubbing in and on your tenderest parts. Its vibration settings are strong, the whirly thing it does inside you is, while unremarkable, totally pleasant, its buttons are extremely easy to use.

But I was sort of left with the feeling that this toy was just okay.

See up there how the little rabbit ears nestle themselves right around your clit? That feeling is absolutely spectacular. The only problem being that the shape of my body requires two hands and full attention to make it happen. The hope for a dually stimulating toy like this one is that it will be idiot-proof. Something you can turn on, put in and coast to an orgasm after a long, exhausting day.

Unfortunately for me, this toy is just a bit too long for the shape of my body. My g-spot is substantially shallower than the sweet little bend at the top of the shaft of this toy. If you find that you need deeper penetration for g-spot stimulation, this toy would be great for you and is also pretty easy on the wallet.

Another bonus is the Thumper's waterproofness. Though I haven't taken this toy into the bath yet, it's always nice to have the option.

Part of being picky is recognizing that what you're picking at is actually totally fine. This toy is a solid, safe, affordable option. Had I not been lucky enough to have had the variety of things to shove up my hoo-ha that I have, I would probably love this thing.

I guess I sometimes just find it awfully hard to not notice that sex toys are probably being designed by people without vaginas? Otherwise, why would an angle meant for g-spot stimulation be five whole inches past where it's supposed to be? Am I wrong about this? Ladies, if you design sex toys, please give me a holler. I'd love to discuss your process.

Obviously, none of this is to say that I did not achieve two or three totally satisfying orgasms using the Thumper. I absolutely did. While Rye watched. And provided you all with these lovely pictures.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: like in any other technological field, things are progressing very quickly. When a woman shops for a vibrator she has a plethora of options. Unfortunately for the sex toy industry, this means that the same old tricks just will not do. We expect you to have figured out the next "oh, duh, of course it should be shaped like this" idea. We appreciate all your efforts. But please, try a little harder.

*This product was provided to us free of charge by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines. If legal jargon gets you wet, you're welcome, perverts.