A Barenaked Lady.

Some of you may know her already from Twitter or from her blog, Barenaked Lady, which carries the lovely subtitle of "Neurotic Erotica". If you don't, you probably should.

From a recent post, "So Much Better When You're Naked", (presumably based off the song "I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked" by Ida Maria, who is SUPER fun live) comes this lovely bit of goodness:

"I’ve had problems with my naked self. I can’t stay naked for too long, because I get incredibly embarrassed. Wobbly bits, and all that. 

But I think I took a massive step tonight. 

For reasons known to me, I got naked in front of someone nice. Not in person, mind. 

And I actually wanted it. I wanted to be naked, wobbly bits and all. Pussy out and wet, wanking, gloriously naked. 

After I said goodbye to that nice person, I stayed naked, and I had no qualms about it. In fact, it was the most fun I’ve ever had whilst fully naked. Which is really a testament to the fact that I haven’t had sex yet."

 Jilly, the writer behind Barenaked Lady, is a young lady that hasn't had sex yet. Get that? An erotica writer that has yet to experience that ever so lovely flesh on flesh contact we all write, photograph and film so obsessively and lovingly.

This is a site to be cherished. After all, once you cross that line, you can't ever go back. But reading about what someone hopes and dreams it will be like can help usher you back to that time before you were getting tied up and spanked. When you were jerking off endlessly at the thought of being able to experience that with someone else.

And this post specifically speaks to so many issues that young and not so young people deal with. The hang-ups that come with not having a body you see portrayed all that often in the media and whatever their definition of beautiful is. Which is incredibly damaging to a wide swatch of people. Male, female, it doesn't matter.

I also lacked self-esteem in a big way. Being in my first marriage, where I constantly doubted myself due to a lack of sex, a lack of being wanted, feeling loved and appreciated, it took me down so many pegs that after a while, I truly felt like no one would want me. How lucky I was to find out that this couldn't have been further from the truth.

Now that I've come out of that hole, I've really and truly come to understand that what makes a person sexy is confidence. Plain and simple. We all have our types, so maybe not everyone will find you as sexy as other people might. But if you feel sexy all the way through your core, you'll project sexy. And sexy is...sexy. Simple as that.