Clamp Down.

Oh, guys. I wanted to like nipple clamps. I swear, I did. We really did give it a go a few times, but I just have to tell you: I do not like nipple clamps.

But, that's never stopped us from giving you some titty pictures, has it?

These looked like probably the least intimidating nipple clamps I could find. They are pink. They have little rubberized tips. They do not have metal teeth that would like nothing more than to gnash at your tenderest bits.

As I'm sure these photos are telling you, I've got pretty small nipples. They don't stick out very far, they don't brag or get too drunk at parties and start yelling about how high they can jump. They're sweet and keep to themselves. They like to hang out in mouths and be nudged up against by the occasionally stubbly face.

My nipples don't understand how my pussy can take sex toys, dicks, fingers, tongues, etc. with such a cavalier attitude. And my ass? The spankings? My nipples do not approve.

Really, even if I did like the sensation, I think this particular model would have problems. The metal ring that slides up the tweezers to close them around your skin is kind of jumpy, which means that these are either off or ON, there really are no shades of gray. So, apologies, nipples, for this experiment. I hope you'll forgive me after a few days after a few days at the spa (Rye's Mouth).

This was about as far as we got. Then I said, "OW. Why do people like these??"