A PSA on Nasty Toys.

Apologies in advance for getting a little serious on you today.

But you need it.
Your vagina needs it.
Your asshole needs it.
Your brain needs it.

As you know, we're huge fans of sex toys around these parts. What you might not know, however, is that we're also super crazy organic people that don't keep any harsh chemicals in the house. Our bodies are too important to us to allow that kind of shit in close proximity. And you can bet your ass that our bodies are also too important to be putting those same harsh chemicals IN our bodies. You know, through the pussy. Or asshole.

Yep, this may surprise some of you (hopefully it doesn't, because you're well aware of this by now), but a lot of sex toys contain really terrible shit. And that terrible shit goes right into your hoo-ha when you get yourself off with it.

For REAL.

Rye Cleans Up.

For someone with such a filthy mind, he cleans up nicely. It is seriously way too rare that we get to objectify him in quite this way. Lathered up, stark naked, bathed in sunshine. I just love the way the water spins off all his parts. We think you will too.

Also, of note, outdoor showers are basically the best places in existence.

From the Mailbag: Making Love vs. Fucking.

Violet, what's your take on the difference between fucking and "making love"? Do you ever ask to "make love to me"? And is it possible to "make love" anally? My girlfriend says no, as it's a more submissive act, and raunchy. Great blog, thanks! 

Farewell to Prime Burger.

Yes, we've posted this before.
And yes, we're posting it again.

Because today, Prime Burger will serve its last burger.
Yep. The building was sold and they will cease to be after today.

Farewell, Prime! We hope you come back soon, in a new location. And yet, somehow, we doubt it.

Always Thinking of Us.

A few mornings ago, after I left for work, Rye took matters into his own hands.

He was kind enough to document that for us.

Humunuh.

"So, I sent you a video," he said.

"Sent me a video where?"

"Oh, to our porn email."

Here is what I found, and good god, am I happy to share it with you perverts.

With No Pants On.

R: We always have such good intentions about Uncommon Appetites photos on vacation.
V: Well, I took my pants off in the street yesterday.

Violet tweeted this while we were on our trip. And you bet your ass (and hers) that we'd be showing you the results.

Because.

Because last week was a week for vacation.

For eating good things.
And not checking email.

For ignoring social media.
And reading old books about food.

For weather too nice for May.
And getting sunburned for our eagerness to lie in it.

For having adventures.
And exploring places.
And ourselves.
And each other.

For drinking iced coffee on porches.
And sneaking photos on those same porches.
And in public.

Perverted Road Trip.

Hello, darlings. We'll be absent for the rest of the week, taking a little vacation to soothe our brains and sneak dirty pictures in other states.

We promise to return with photographic evidence of our exploits and a renewed enthusiasm for making you jerk yourselves off. See you soon!

Ladies, Get Your Swagger Back.

I'm getting a little grumbly about something today, you guys. I fell down a video hole today, as I often do, trying to find something to share for mutual wanking and appreciation.

What I found was a lot of this:

K. K. from Pavel Pavlov on Vimeo.

Please don't get me wrong, that's a beautiful woman in a beautifully filmed short movie (and DANG, I love your tattoo). But GOD, does anyone ever really roll around on a bed to seduce their partner? Does anyone ever really ruffle their hair over their faces and coo to incite lust?

V- How do you maintain your hair down there? Do you wax your ass crack yourself? I've been dying to do something about mine.

A hot shower, a warmed razor and plenty of conditioner. Plain and simple. But go with the grain, otherwise, you're gonna have a bumpy mess!

The Gentle Introduction of Ass-Play.

My boyfriend is very willing to explore sexually with me, and loves me for the fact that I am so liberated and willing to try new things. However, there is one thing he is very shy about: his ass. Ever since he went down on mine, and took my anal virginity, I have been dying to give him that same pleasure. However, he is one of those men that, to a certain extent, equates anal penetration with homosexuality in men. I have told him I want to go down on his ass, and he is willing to let me, although I haven't done so yet. He knows I would like to try pegging, but I think he is a little afraid of it. Any ideas on how to gently ease him into ass play? 

Let's Make Raspberry Pie!

Let's make it is fucking right! We love this video for several reasons:

1. It's almost raspberry season. Which means we're fucking JONESING for those sweet, nipple looking berries. You know, to put in our face holes.

2. St. Vincent. Because who can ever really get enough of St. Vincent? If you don't listen to her, please change that.

3. It's pretty as shit. And a lattice? No one makes a goddamn lattice for their pies anymore! Craziness! Lattice away, for I wish to do filthy things to that deep red pie. Mostly with my tongue.

Let's Make Raspberry Pie from Ben Derico on Vimeo.

Formspring Time!

Do you two sext each other?

Oh man, do we ever! A recent example of what I sent to V while she was in a work meeting:

"I am looking forward to you going to the gym, getting all hot and sweaty, coming home and letting me dive right into that salty sweetness."

And some photos:

 

The One Where I Finally Try the Lelo Bob.

How happy are we to live in this modern age? When sex toys are improving on the daily and prostate massage (and all anal play, really) has gone from some taboo subject to just another part of a well rounded sex life. When the male orgasm has gone from relatively one note compared to the female orgasm, to a whole other level of pleasure when you jam something up their ass.

Mind you, my orgasms are never sad by any stretch, but when you put something up my ass, especially something as brilliantly contoured and smooth as the Lelo Bob, the grunts and groans that emit from me are almost caveman-like by comparison.

Back in the Saddle.

I have been having pain during sex, which has led to my husband and I not being intimate very much. I avoid it for fear of pain, and he worries about hurting me. The problem is me sort of involuntarily clenching those muscles and being unable to relax. I can go from being quite relaxed to totally tense in the space of a couple seconds if sex is going to happen. He knows that this is not something I'm doing consciously, and not something that I want to do, but it is driving a bit of a wedge between us, physically. I see there are 'dilator kits' for vaginismus, which seems like a good idea, but kind of costly.

via Hottie, Hott, Hot - by Alexander Tikhomirov

I don't own any sex toys, but since my husband raised this as an issue earlier this month, I have mentioned several times that I am totally open to working on becoming comfortable with sex again. I do want to tackle this but feel a bit lost as a person who just doesn't talk about sex. Help!

Pole Position.

This video makes us feel a couple of feelings.

One, that we love this position and haven't done it in too long*. The reverse cowgirl to the collapse on top of him, back to reverse cowgirl and collapse back down again is a highly underrated position for a quality, comfortable, low-key weekend morning or afternoon fucking.

Two, that it's nice to see some condom usage in real world sex videos. Not everyone is in a long-term relationship and should definitely be rocking the condoms. So good for them for wearing and not being afraid to feature that sleeve in a major way.

Three, it gives us a boner. Because it feels real and lovely, and like home. And to us, that's hot.

So dig in, boner up, get wet. You deserve it, it's been a long week and it's only Monday.

*We wrote this update on Saturday. On Sunday, we employed this position. And it was good. Thanks for the reminder, video!

The Way I Dress.

Stylish men, shot beautifully, talking about the way they dress, WHILE they get dressed? This is right in our wheelhouse.

Not to mention the massive feelings I have for Waris Ahluwalia (I saw him once at an unnamed very hot restaurant and a VERY audible gasp emitted from deep within me).

The Way I Dress: Mr Waris Ahluwalia from Chris Floyd on Vimeo.

Harmless.

Guys, this is fucking insane. Seriously fucking insane.

After being a bit out of it lately (inconsistent posts, much?), we were alerted to this steaming pile of shit by a few readers, and then again by Dan Savage in this week's podcast (If you don't listen to his podcast, you should be. And watch his MTV show while you're at it, it's enormously heartwarming and full of healthy sexual discussions).

So just what IS this steaming pile of shit of which I speak? Harmless. A film about, GET THIS, a husband that has a box of porn. THAT BRINGS EVIL TO HIS HOME. It possesses his children and ruins his relationship with his wife! I'm dead serious, this is a real thing. After watching, I had to do some research to see if it was an Onion video. It's not.

Time Travelin'.

By now, it's highly likely that you've seen these three grandmothers watching the Kim Kardashian and Ray J sex tape. Just in case you haven't, please find three of me from the future below:

Look, you guys. This is one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen. But it also highlights something we feel pretty strongly about: this shit is fucking normal, man! Young people didn't invent sex. We've been fucking each other (the Greek way, too) and sucking cock with two hands since time immemorial.

It's heartening to think about all the good years of experimenting we have ahead of us. And how many you have ahead of you. So, please, do us a favor. Go out and make your grandparents proud!

Camille Gets Some.

If you linger around these parts, you've no doubt heard about Camille Crimson. You might know her as the stunning redhead that runs The Art of Blowjob with her longtime boyfriend Mike Flirt. You might also know her as one of the kindest people on Twitter. Or as the boss of the fucking rad Sophie Delancey.

However you know her, you probably don't know her pussy all that well.